Fenni
by October Dalliance
Summary: Fenris and Hawke dibble dabble. Oneshots. Reviews are more than welcome.
1. Beginnings of romance

I'm attempting to play Dragon age 2 for the second time and I'm falling in love with Fenris all over again. There just isn't enough of him in the game to satisfy me however so I went searching for fan fiction and found some wonderful pieces that motivated me to write my own. So here we are. Takes place in the happier times before Fenris dumps you.

 _Beginnings of romance_.

"What is this?" The white haired elf turned his wrist over repeatedly, inspecting the cloth that'd just been tied to him.

He looked to the woman who sat next to him on his rug near the fireplace. She'd purchased the deep textured carpet for the nights she'd visit him, refusing to continue sitting on dusty chairs and table tops. It was now her "comfy space". It seemed ridiculous that a woman so often covered in blood would mind a bit of cobwebs.

"It's a gift. I figured your ensemble could use a bit of color" she explained tilting her head to the side. It was a habit he noticed she did when she was going to say anything disagreeable.

"Hawke," he started, until the smiling woman turned towards the fire and leaned back onto her hands.

"I only jest." She laughed. "It's a gift. Er, well not really. Consider it more of a token. A reminder maybe."

Fenris looked at the simple silken red cloth knotted around his forearm once more before resting his arms on bent knees. "A reminder of what exactly?"

"Well, that I'll be back eventually. I've been going up Sundermonunt so often with Merrill. Last time we stayed with the Dalish for almost a month to clear those damned caves. Now we have to return to help Feynriel, and who knows how long that will take or what will happen." She answered as she out stretched her legs from beneath her long robes and flexed her toes near the fire.

Fenris watched her face as she spoke and took a mental note on how the flame always seemed to make her skin seem copper. It was a fitting comparison for the woman he'd seen stay standing after being impaled by two spears and poisoned. Copper wasn't impenetrable, but it was tough and lovely in the light. "If you're trying to reassure me that you won't die , there's no need. I've seen you take on tougher things than halfbreed adolescents."

" He happens to be a mage of rare ability" she corrected, adding a mystery tone. "But I suppose it's a flattering statement, coming from someone who considers mages the most dangerous things in all creation." Hawke chuckled and turned so that she faced him, resting on one hip and leaning on one hand. The fire popped as she smirked at him and prepared to speak but stopped herself. She glanced at the thick ribbon and the smile slid from her lips as she looked back to his eyes. Her expression was still and calculating. He could see her mind churning behind her intelligent eyes.

Fenris habitually held her gaze out of defiance. He knew her stare was not a challenge, but the former slave had spent too many years of his life avoiding eye contact with mages to turn away from this one. This wasn't the first time she'd looked at him this way, as if she was looking for something in his eyes. It was a smoldering gaze. Each time, he felt an unease as if he wanted to walk away from her and her damned eyes. It infuriated him. He'd resigned to stop running from anything a long time ago and yet, here he was resisting the urge. What was he so reluctant to let her see?

The two sat in silence until Hawke found her words "I don't want you to feel alone."

Whatever he had been expecting her to say, it wasn't that. "I'm not a helpless child who needs comforts when his mother is away" he ground out in response. It was harsher than he'd intended but he'd been unnerved.

The bare foot mage however scoffed in response. "Fenris. You're far from helpless in my opinion" She turned her gaze back to the fire. "And I'd be a very sick adult if I saw you as a child while I have these images Isabella has managed to burn into my head."

"What?"

"A later topic." she dismissed with a wave of her hand. "I just wanted you to have something to look forward to on the days you run out of wine...it's quiet and dark here, just you and your thoughts. I think about you being here alone sometimes. I don't think you mind the emptiness so much, but id rather you have more to think about than killing Danarius. Everything surrounding you is a constant reminder of him."

"And this is a reminder of...you?" Fenris questioned in a low tone feeling something stir at the thought of her thinking of him. It wasn't the first time she'd risen a giddy feeling in his chest.

The woman fidgeted with a lock of her hair and shrugged her shoulders seeming to grow bashful at his choice of words. "Putting it simply I suppose you could say that. It's red, my hair is red, my tattoos are red, my robes are red. It's fitting." She took a sip of her forgotten wine. "I mean I think itd be nicer to wake up to me than Danarius...Maker, wait that didn't come out right."

Hawke rose a self loathing hand to her face and earned a chuckle from the elf beside her. She glanced at him through her fingers. "I'll have to agree with you there. You'd be a much more preferable sight."

A smirk pulled at both their faces as she passed him the last contents of her wine. Fenris tossed back the drink as he considered if he'd really meant what he'd said. His entire reasoning for staying in Kirkwall was to wait for the Imperium Magister that had branded him with lyrium and flaunted him like a prized stallion. Would he really prefer to awake to the beautiful woman warming herself next to him over the man he'd made it his life to kill?

Probably not.

But he wouldn't mind it at all in the meantime. She was a very welcome second. A place holder until he could obtain his main priority. And once first priority had been handled, maybe she could claim the spot. She'd certainly been consistent enough in his life and his dreams for his thoughts to take that route from time to time.

"So do you accept it?" The scarlet haired woman asked laying on her back to stretch and then turning to lay on her side.

Fenris placed the bottle to the side and instead drank in the way her robes sank into her curves. "Accept what?" The fire highlighted her outline while the rest of her rested in shadow. But there was enough light that he could see her pout attractively.

"My token?"

"Ah." He looked at the ribbon again and cocked a brow. He layed down with an arm behind his head and a bent knee. The wine rocked the room slowly. "I suppose I do".

"Splendid." The woman mused beside him sounding pleased with herself. "You must think of me everytime you see it or all this will be for naught."

Fenris looked to see that she spoke with closed eyes. He held up his arm to again inspect the cloth that contrasted harshly against his pale skin and would contrast even more against his dark armor. He would wear it. It would catch his attention often while he went throughout his day and bring the redheaded woman into his thoughts as intended. If her intent was to be a welcome distraction, the ribbon was going to be an effective decision. "I'll keep that in mind"


	2. Carver

_Carver_

"Oh, who is that?"

"Who? Ah. I've never seen him before."

"Is he looking for work? He'll get popular quick."

"By the void, I hope not. I hope he's here to play and I hope he picks me."

In the lobby of the Blooming Rose, an elf rose a gauntlet to pinch the bridge of his nose. The curious gazes and conversations had begun minutes after he perched himself against the wall near the entrance of the establishment. He'd seen a few patrons walk to the front desk and gesture in his direction only to shoot him disappointed glanced afterwards. A few had even began to approach him directly until being close enough to see the immense displeasure on his face and the Greatsword handle peeking over his shoulder. One brave soul however had ignored his scowls (seeming to find them more alluring) and offered him a bag of coin "regardless of if he worked there or not". Fenris had gracefully responded with a glowing hand and a feral "Leave me." The man's eyes had widened and he had left the brothel entirely. No one had approached him then but they still watched.

The only gaze that concerned him now was the woman at the counter who frowned in his direction ever so often. He hadn't gone to the counter or left the lobby. He'd simply came in and stood for the last half hour, a looming shadow in the corner. It was only a matter of time before someone in the staff was sent to confront him about loitering. As much as he would like to simply be on his way and out of the receptionist's hair, he had someone to find.

That someone just happened to be finally walking down the stairs rolling his shoulders.

"Carver" The armored elf pushed off the wall to walk towards the startled young man. He'd obviously not expected to run into anyone he knew.

"Y-you? What are you doing here." Carver frowned, looking around to see if he recognized anyone else.

Fenris raised a brow. "That's a question I should be asking you"

Carver scoffed, seeming to decide he had nothing to be ashamed of and marched past the elf. "Minding my own damed business. Shouldn't you be off preparing to go with my sister on her blighted expedition?"

Fenris followed him out of the Rose and into the light rain that fell into the red lantern district. The dark corner of Hightown had been as busy as usual despite the inclement weather. "She isn't taking me with her."

That seemed to stop the swordsman for a moment. "What? Really? I was so sure that out of everyone she would take you...well it doesn't matter to me either way. I won't be here when she gets back."

Fenris frowned. He didn't care to know where Carver planned on going, but he knew he would only leave to spite his sister for leaving him behind. The man's melodramatic attitude towards his sibling was boarder line insufferable. There wernt many people that seemed to sympathize with his inferiority complex. Except for his older sister; this of course made it worse. He had probably turned to the brothel to soothe his fragile pride.

What pulled the elf's attention however was why Carver seemed stunned she hadn't chosen to bring him. Fenris' ability to phase through his enemies might have come in handy but Aveline was as great a warrior as any and Anders' attendance guaranteed adequate healing if necessary. Varric's presence was a given. There was no strategic reason Fenris would be needed to go into the Deep Roads.

"You should go see her now then, before she departs. She's been looking all over Lowtown for you. She's been targeted twice now for wandering alone." He responded.

Concern flashed across the younger brother's features but he quickly molded them back into a face of indifference. "What, are you her message boy now?"

"No." Fenris responded, ignoring the petty attempt to frustrate him. "When she told me she hadn't seen you since promising your mother she'd leave you behind, there was only one more place you could be. I assumed you wouldn't appreciate it if your sister showed up to pick you up from a whore house so I came on my own." He responded.

Color filled Carvers cheeks and he averted his eyes. "Since when are you so concerned with our family affairs?"

Fenris opened his lips to speak but pulled up short for an answer. Why had he been concerned that she couldn't find Carver? He blinked and looked towards his feet. She hadn't even asked him for help. Why had he taken it upon himself to make sure Hawke spoke to her brother before departing? He knew it was important to her, but had that really been enough to get his feet moving? "I-I'm not..."

Carver rolled his eyes towards the sky. "And that reaction is precisely why I thought she would take you with her."

The elf frowned in annoyance. Carver pulled up the hood on his cloak as the rain picked up. Fenris stood uncovered and unaffected.

"I'm not talking to her highness before she leaves...but I'll write to her. She'll have you to thank for that." Carver compromised and began to walk past his sister's companion but stopped and put a hand on the elf's shoulder without looking at him. He stood there for a moment before speaking. "My sister is strong, but she's not invincible. Take care of her Fenris." He spoke, before walking towards the steps that lead away from the brothel.

Fenris watched Carver's figure shrink away into the grey evening with a skeptical expression. He was indebted to the female warrior, so if a time ever arose for him to defend her, he would. The request from her brother had seemed more personal than that obligation however.

He pushed it from his thoughts and focused on putting distance between himself and the Rose's new batch of curious patrons.


	3. Worth

_Worth_

"Fenris" she whispered, her voice sounding delayed and far away to her own ears. She was losing too much blood and for a moment she'd lost consciousness. Her head spun and felt as if it would float from her shoulders as she lay there on hard cobblestone. Had she really even spoken? "Fenris..."

The looming elf stood protectively in front of her facing away. He'd materialized during the time she laid there unconscious and seemed much taller than usual on her waking. She hadn't even realized she'd fainted.

They had managed to reach high ground and for a moment Hawke felt saved. That was until she pushed up onto her elbows. The motion sent spasms of painful protest throughout her body as every part of her pleaded to lay back down. That wasn't an option; she needed to see. Fenris stood alone facing a bulk of the Qunari siege on Kirkwall. He crouched defensively, his Lyrium veins glowing brilliantly as he held his broadsword with both hands in a readying position. She gasped as she noticed the shining river of blood pouring slowly from his hip, covering his entire leg. He'd already been wounded.

Varric lay unmoving a few yards away, Bianca knocked somewhere into the distance. Panic filled Hawke's chest. How long has it been since her friend had fallen? Where was Anders?

Lightning flashed and popped in the distance behind buildings where the mage fought alone. Separated from the group and too far to assist, he was probably also greatly outnumbered. None of them would last much longer.

"F-Fenris." She pushed out with a slur. _Get out of here._

"Be quiet, Hawke." He demanded as he swung through two spears thrown up towards them. The followers of the Qun had apparently experienced enough of his close hand combat to realize it was his speciality. His arms were dyed red, from the tips of his fingers to his elbows and it still dripped fresh. He'd crushed many organs this night. "Heal yourself and get up. Now."

Her head spun and she tried to focus on pooling as much mana as she could muster, but her connection to the fade felt so thin, she knew she didn't have much. Not nearly enough to heal her ravaged body. Her battle was over. _Leave me_.

Fenris batted away another spear with his sword and caught a second one in the air with a free hand. He couldn't however react fast enough to avoid arrows that shadowed and struck him in his shoulder . He snarled and ripped the stone tip arrows from his armor and tossed them aside. His movements were slowing down and the color faded from his skin. " Fasta vaas" he swore under his breath as he held his sword in one had and used the other to squeeze his hip and try to slow the blood flow.

Hawkes panic grew as the boarders of her vision began to blur. Her defences were down and he was on his own. After everything he'd gone through to escape Tevinter he was going to die here in front of her and for what? A debt? She was going to die with or without his protection. There was no reason for him to waste his new life before it had even begun. He'd be another person throwing their life away under her lead. _I don't want to see this._

"Fenris..." She groaned, her inability to breathe preventing her from saying anymore. The elf in front of her turned his head to look at her over his shoulder and she saw a tight smile on the corner of his lips. Cold fear sank into her stomach. He knew it too. He was going to die there with her and he was accepting it.

 _Please don't make me watch this_.

A spear found its way through the air and through the core of the armored warrior in from of her. The bloodied tip aimed downward in Hawke's direction and she stared at it with wide eyes. It mocked her pleas.

She had watched Bethany die. She had watched Carver die, then her mother...and now...

Hawke took deep breaths to try and slow her spinning head as she focused her remaining energy into the tips of her fingers. She wouldn't waste the last of her strength in a futile attempt to save herself. Extending her hand, she shot the remainder of her life force into her protector.

Fenris had just pulled the spear from his body when the heat of magic rushed up his spine and briefly surrounded his body. He hissed as he felt his wounds pulling themselves tight and his bones shift into place. It was quick and the sigh he released once healed was involuntary. A shocked relief fell over him as suddenly all his strength was returned to him and his senses were sharp. He heard the woman behind him mumble his name again and wondered why it seemed to be the only thing she continued to say.

He turned to her, expecting to see the mage climbing to her feet and was shocked to find that wasn't the truth. Their eyes locked for a moment as he took in her pale blood speckled face.

The fallen mage's eyes rolled back as her shaking arms gave way and she fell flat on her back.

He started at her, eyes wide as her panting breathing turned into light wheezing. _She didn't_...

"What did you do..." He asked the air.

Hawke's hand rose in a placating manner, as if she knew he'd be angry soon. But the movement strained her and her hand fell to her stomach with a wince. "Fenris".

He waited for an answer, but she simply breathed lightly until her eyes closed. He repeated his question, through his teeth. A flash of pain shot through his arm as an arrow grazed his elbow.

"Fenris". She exhaled.

"STOP saying my name!!!" He roared and for a moment he was encased in light. Hawke felt a strong wind hit her body like something flying over her. Fenris dropped his sword and hunched over holding his side as his surrounding opponents lay scattered about, stunned from his Lyrium pulse. He turned toward the woman, furious. He grabbed at the collar of her robe yanking her head from the ground. She was dying. "Why did you heal me!?"

Hawke inhaled a trembling breath as her head rolled back. She didn't respond and her arms fell limp at her sides.

"WHY DID YOU HEAL ME?!" He shouted to the woman enraged. He shook her shoulders as the surrounding Qunari slowly clamored back to their feet. This woman was going to die in his hands with his name on her lips and he was powerless to stop it. All the power Danarius had carved into his flesh, and there was nothing he could do to save one of the only people in this world he'd found worth saving.

He could already feel the memory branding into his mind, something that would plague his thoughts and dreams. The vision of her broken on the ground, using her last breaths to call out his name.

"No, say something else!" He demanded. She didn't respond, and she wouldn't breathe. He cursed at her in Tevinter without realizing it. "SAY SOMETHING ELSE!"

"Hawke!" A stern female voice rang over the sounds of clanging metal.

"Aveline." Fenris called, recognizing her vice. He didn't turn to watch the armored red head bound towards them as a battalion of city guards rushed to battle behind her. He kept his eyes on his useless hands, covered in blood and clenching the woman on the ground.

She crouched near her friend and the elf could see fear in her eyes. The color drained from her face upon seeing the unresponsive woman. Fenris turned away from the scene and spotted Merrill kneeling near Varric and Isabella running in Anders' direction. "Damnit Hawke! You were supposed to find a way to stall them! Not take the entire horde yourselves!" The captain cried. Aveline pulled a small pouch from her breast plate and poured the chalk like substance in her friend's mouth. When she didn't react, the guard swore and frantically took out two more pouches and pushed them down her throat.

Nothing happend.

At first.

Then there was a choked gurgle noise and Fenris snapped his head back to its source.

Hawke recognized the taste immediately and coughed a bloody mix of the powder out. Aveline frowned in displeasure at the waste of Merrill's most potent Royal Elfroot blend, but it had been enough. She pounded the woman's back sternly as Fenris sat her up straight. It would take a moment for her to get on her feet again but Hawke felt the rush of heat wracking her body as she managed to swallow the healing powders.

"It seemed a good idea at the time." the bloodied woman sputtered a laugh. It was an extremely delayed response and the guards captain laughed in relief. Fenris however wasnt sure if she was responding to himself or Aveline. He scowled in anger towards the woman that had mended his wounds while she was on the brink of death. How she managed to make light of the situation was beyond him.

"You're a fool Hawke." He spat, clenching her forearms. She smiled sleepily at the man who'd planned to die for her.

"I know."


	4. Howling at the moon

A trashy one with a trashy name, but I like it.

 _Howling at the moon_

"So Fenris, I have a question for you"

"Why does that frighten me?" he teased, a smirk on his face. Hawke sat in front of him at his table with that night's bottle of wine resting on its side by her feet. She smiled and leaned forward on her hand, her elbow resting on the tabletop.

"Frightened? Why, I'm practically harmless with a belly full of hot food and wine."

"I know a certain few Quanari that would strongly disagree." He added with a wave of his hand.

She couldn't help but crack a smile. "I was starving and sober every time, I assure you."

Fenris chuckled and shook his head in dismissal. "Your question?"

"Well," she leaned back, drawing out the word. "Do you remember the conversation we had about your aches?"

Did he? Hawke had invited him to her home one evening after returning to the surface from clearing a raiders nest in dark town. It was a favor for Aveline who'd been swamped with repairs to the city and struggling to reinstate order for weeks. It'd seemed simple enough to handle. Hawke just agreed to add it to her list of "IOUS" for the captain to pay back in the future.

Things hadn't gone as smoothly as the Champion had thought however. The raiders had been a group of blood mage apostates who'd escaped from the circle and were robbing citizens to try and leave Kirkwall. They'd even managed to have enough to buy a nice ship but they'd gotten comfortable in their routine . They did what mages often do, submit to greed.

Fenris, being the only close range fighter in their midst at the time had taken a considerable amount of damage to the surprise magic. He'd felt the hold of blood magic before and recognized the sensation of the dark eroding energy in his muscles.

He had emerged the victor in the end but the magic had put a strain on his body. As reluctant as he was to admit it, it would've been much worse if not for the Lyrium in his skin. Hawke had noticed his slouch and slight discomfort and rolled her eyes. She knew he had been on a "petty streak" as she called it, of refusing healing from Anders or Merrill. His walk home alone that late would be too dangerous; Or at least that was what she'd told him as she watched him rub his arms.

They'd stayed up that night drinking and talking, much like they often did when finding themselves alone. It had always pleasantly caught his attention how they never seemed to run out of things to talk about. He'd described to her how it felt to have blood magic rot his insides and the dull pains that lasted for days if he denied magical healing. It seemed like a boring topic but that night they had managed to keep each other's company until Bodhan surprised them, entering the study with a stunned "Why!! Good morning mistress!".

They hadn't exactly been in a compromising position laying there on the carpet together. His head in her lap and her fingers running slowly through his hair, sliding along his scalp. He lay there with his eyes closed occasionally letting out a low hum. She'd chuckle and compare him to alley cats. He probably would've fallen asleep if the rake of her nails hadn't continuously sent electricity down his spine. His brow would furrow as he resisted the urge to groan. It seemed like she was doing it on purpose. Every time he'd start to drift, her soft pets would turn into nail running the length of his ear and sliding from the top of his crown to the nape of his neck. Thoughts of her touch traveling elsewhere on his body flashed through his mind but he'd push them aside, although it was hard to do under the haze of weariness and wine. No one had ever touched his hair so much, or touched him at all in a way that he'd accepted. His skin was simply too sensitive and he hadn't had a choice against those that'd touched him before.

He'd told Hawke his head was spinning and she'd offered "rub rubs" as a remedy. As innocent as the offer had sounded, the atmosphere had taken a different route and the temperature seemed to rise, until eventually her touches lost their playfulness altogether.

"Does it hurt anywhere else?" Her suddenly sultry voice had asked making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He looked up at her and she looked down at him, green fire raging behind her eyelashes. He'd inhaled through his teeth, resistance fading, and Bohdan had enterted the room.

Fenris looked at the hands of the woman sitting at his table infront of him and felt the memory stir his blood. Hawke leaned forward and tilted her head, her eyelids low with her wine. Her lips wore a light red stain and he eyed them for a moment before responding to her.

"No. I really can't recall" he answered.

He drank the indignant expression Hawke flashed him and tried to maintain his own.

Her lips parted but she laughed realizing she'd been had. It was a hypnotizing sound.

"Shame." She hummed. "Isabela showed me a new way to soothe sore muscles. I suppose I'll have to wait till a later date to try it out."

The elf cocked a brow taking on an interested expression. She stood and sauntered to the fire as if the topic was dropped. He turned, watching her movements feeling an anticipation build in his chest. He leaned forward, his arms in his lap, matching his eye level with her hips "Practice is always good".

Hawke turned to him without a word. Her eyes were narrow and she chewed on the corner of her bottom lip, stopping a smile. She dragged her fingertips across the table as she walked until coming to a stop between his legs. Fenris sat back, looking up at her and resisted the urge to pull her down to him. She was so close and it made his blood rush through his veins. She kept his eyes locked in a gaze as she lifted her hand to his hair, trailing a finger along the length of his ear. "I'll start here, since you seemed to enjoy it so much" she murmured, sliding her fingers into his hair. The touch sent a bolt of heat right beneath his skin and he sighed. His eyes closed and despite how pleased he was to have her touch, a frustration pulled at his lips. His hair is not where he wanted her hands at the moment but he thought it wiser to let her lead.

He groaned audibly and clenched his teeth as her gentle fingers suddenly knotted themselves in a tight grip. Hands moved on their own and grasped her hips firmly, pulling her forward. Her knee hit the lip of the chair and she hissed. She lifted her knee and knelt into the chair between his thighs. His body clenched as he felt her kneel close to his center.

Hawke leaned down lowering her face close to his and Fenris slid his hands down until he held her rear in he's open palms. She gasped as he squeezed her hard. He held his grip on her posterior for a moment before letting go and rubbing his hands slowly up and down her hips.

"I've been wanting to do that for a long--" Fenris opened his eyes as he spoke and stopped his sentence prematurely. Hawke's face hovered over him, her lips parted and the green fire raging in her eyes. He'd expected her to laugh or tease him; he hadn't expected her to look at him like that.

He felt a lump in his throat as she leaned onto him, her breast against his chest and her forehead touching his as she climbed completely onto the chair. He restrained himself from reacting as her thigh pushed between his legs. "Hawke". A voice came from his throat that sounded different even to his own ears.

She traced a finger down his jaw line until she felt the slight rise of the Lyrium vein on his chin. She lowerd her mouth toward his and his lips parted on their own, but she stopped, just a hairs breath away. The finger on his chin continued along his veins, under his chin and down his neck, making him swallow. She reached the collar of his leather armor and sighed.

Hawke sat up and looked down to his arm that rested on the table while his hands held her hips. She ran her nail along the inner part of his arm, back and forth, tracing the Lyrium pattern as he watched her. The muscle in his arm jumped and she smiled at the small ticklish reaction. "I've wanted to do this for far too long" she repeated back to him, keeping her eyes on his arm as she spoke, tracing her way back up to his shoulder, "but you're wearing far too much" she complained in one bold whisper.

As if that was the confirmation his subconscious had been waiting for, Fenris stood and lifted the woman in one swift move. Her legs wrapped around him as he strode to the small room adjacent to the fire place. The warrior in his arm pulled his face down to hers and pressed her open lips against his. Fenris inhaled though his nose, an anticipative euphoria rushing to his head as he tried to focus a part of his brain on finding the cotton and straw mattress in the corner. The room was much darker without the fire and only the light of the moon pouring in through large holes in the ceiling.

There seemed to be an eternity of stepping over wooden planks when he finally kicked the soft flume he slept on. He pushed the woman down onto the mattress, not breaking their kiss. He unwound his arms from her waist to wrap large rough hands around her wrists, pinning them by her head.

Hawke sighed into him and let her legs fall from his waist. Her tongue swirled a slow circle along his bottom lip asking for his own. His mouth watered and she groaned when his tongue slid along hers. The sensation sent warmth through both their bodies and Fenris lowered his weight on her, his focus fading.

Hawke reacted reflexively to the new pressure on her abdomen and rolled her hips against his. The elf above her growled deep in his throat and pulled his mouth from hers to bury his face in her neck, bringing one of his hands down to pull at the knot tying her robes closed.

He pushed her coverings aside and slid his hand hungrily up her torso before running his open palm over the mound of her breast. She hummed as his rough palm slid over her nipple making her writhe beneath him as his tongue dragged drunken patterns against her throat.

Hawke pulled at his armors with her free hand and for a moment they were an entanglement of limbs trying to undress themselves without separating. He pulled he arms from her robes and she did the same for his.

Hawke let her desires take over as her soon-to-be lover's coverings were pulled above his head. She looked up at him and drank him in. The guilty pleasure she felt at seeing the intricate designs drawn down his body floated in the back of her mind. The marking were painful part of his life and something that had plagued him for years, but she couldn't help be drawn to them; admire them. They were beautiful to her and filled her with the curious desires to explore him. She placed her open palms on his chest and ran a thumb over the boldest line going down the center of his chest.

Fenris looked down on her as she touched him, her eyes focused on his torso. Her hair fanned out on the wools beneath her and her plump breast resting fully exposed was a sight he thought he'd only see in his nightly visit to the fade. Her warmed hands slid down his stomach tracing the veins in his skin randomly as he watched her eyes wander until she reached his waist and her eyes seemed to haze. He felt her nail run along the waist of his pants, making the muscles in his abdomen clench.

Hawke's hand brushed along the front of his abdomen, sliding slowly over the erection that'd made itself known the moment she climbed onto his chair. Her hand left his pants and went to her own. She hooked her thumbs into her leggings and undergarment and pushed them down her thighs.

Fenris felt the air leaving his lungs as he took in her full curves. She was beautiful laying there with her arms reaching up for him in the moonlight. Her tanned skin looked pale making her sprawled hair look deep black.

He muttered somthing in a language she couldn't understand and simply shook his head when she made a questioning noise.

Hawke sighed and closed her eyes as his hands explored her body. Every dip and curve was open to him. He ran his hand down the side of her hip and up her inner thigh. She let out a hum and parted her legs as he slid his hand against her center. There was heat building between her legs and her thighs were smooth, wet and inviting. He rubbed her core and she gasped, yanking him down to push her lips to his again. She kissed him furiously with want and hooked a leg around his hips, pushing up into his hand.

Fenris smirked against her and slid two fingers into her center. The woman beneath him broke the kiss for a moment to gasp and he took the opportunity to move his mouth to her breast. His tongue danced around her nipples while his fingers moved inside of her, pushing and rubing at her walls in a pattern it seemed he'd practiced. She responded to his touches as if they were the first she'd ever felt and her gasps made his blood turn. He was grateful he'd drank so much wine when he felt her nails at his back. It was something Adriana used to do when he'd mastered the talents she'd had him learn. Despite the forced learnings, it felt liberating to use them of his own will. The woman beneath him seemed to appreciate it at least, he thought with a smirk as she rolled against his hand again. He slid another finger inside of her and quickened his movements, using his free hand to appreciate the breast his mouth wasn't working on.

Her hands were in her hair then and she murmured incoherently between breaths, but he was sure he'd heard "Andraste".

She groaned pushing her own hair from her face. It was pathetic really that she was responding so strongly and he hadn't even taken his pants off. "I-i thought you said you'd never…" she started, her building climax cutting off her own words. "Oh maker".

The elf lifted his face to watch her and she looked up at his close face through narrowed eyes. He slowed his movements again decidedly pushing his fingers as far back as she'd allow. He smiled as pleasure morphed her features. "I've never done what you asked me about, but," he answered as he trailed kisses from her neck to her abdomen. "I have done other things.". He freed both his hands to slide them under her knees and push her legs up. The movement earned him a disappointed mewl and then a surprised "oh!". He looked down at the part of the warrior he exposed to himself and the look in his eyes was enough to color her cheeks.

"Fenris…" she warned, excitement bubbling beneath the surface. He didn't respond to her, instead pushing her knees back further, he lowered himself to taste as much of her as he could. She gasped at the sudden sensation and cried out, her hands shooting to her hair, then clutching at the stuffed mattress as she panted his name. He could feel the blood pulsing between his legs as she sang for him, the muscles in her legs tightening every time he ran his tongue over her most sensitive area. It was curious how much a voice could push you when you were actually willing.

Hawke's breathing picked up pace and he knew it wouldn't be much longer until she reached her peak. He felt a pride at the fact that he'd been able to bring her to climax, and a wonder at what would happen after.

Hawke held her breath and clenched her teeth as her climax tore through her, pushing her hips upward. She locked her legs around the elf tight, taking him by surprise until she couldn't hold back anymore. She arched high, crying out until she was able to inhale.

White sparks spotted along her vision as she opened her tightly shut eyes, lowering her hips and letting her legs fall. She breathed in quick shivers as after shocks of electricity fluttered throughout her body.

Fenris lay next to the woman, smirking at her flushed features. He picked a strand of hair out her face and spoke in a low tone. "Are you alright?"

She turned her head toward him. "Am I—oh, feeling smug are we?" The proud woman retorted incredulously, fighting to gather her wit.

She pushed up and flipped herself onto the elf beside her, straddling him in one movement. "I'm fine. I assure you, but I insist you let me return the favor." She slurred, sliding his trousers down over his groin. A heat ignited in the pit of her stomach as she unclothed him and saw his manhood standing fully erect. Fenris slid a hand into his hair and chuckled as she took a second to appreciate him. Ogling apparently was not beneath her status.

She sat on him squarely, pinning his member between them. For a moment he was paralyzed with want. The hotness of her wet core against his shaft had him shifting his hip upward. He swore in his native tongue that this woman would bring him undone.

"I think it's my turn to showcase my skills" she purred, but then seemed to think. She looked down at the white haired elf who lay beneath her wearing a pensive expression. "If you would have me?" She added.

He scoffed darkly and held her gaze with a solid conviction. "Nothing could please me more".

His tone sent a shiver down her spine. She gave him a smile with a glint in her eyes that said 'I'll make sure of that'.

Hawke lifted herself over him, hovering a moment to watch his face as he looked at their parallel abdomens, eyes hazed in anticipation. She smiled and lowered her hips, taking in the head of his erection at a painstakingly slow pace. His lips parted as he watched her slide onto him, feeling her warm tightness taking him in inches at a time untill he'd been fully encased in her.

Hawke felt full and warm with him inside of her as she sat flesh against him. She rose her hips above him and dropped down half way, moaning in her throat before rising fully once more and starting another slow descent.

Fenris dropped his head back. "Vestis…" cursing under his breath, the visual of her slow tease apparently taking a tole. He inhaled deeply, a futile attempt to calm himself, holding her thigh with one hand and bringing the other to his eyes.

Hawke gave a breathless shiver of a laugh." Oh no you don't." She grasped both his hands and pulled them to her breast, holding them there as she ground her hips in a slow circle.

Fenris felt pressure building in the base of his shaft. His hips thrust upward and he groaned. Hawke cried out at the sudden motion and put her hands flat on his stomach. She glared at him with hooded eyes. It was supposed to be her turn to be in control and she gave a pout . Fenris, in turn wanted to bite her frowning bottom lip, but discarded all thoughts as she started moving again. Rising and falling, grinding and rolling her hips in maddening slow pattern.

Hawke rode Fenris until her mind swam with the sounds of his growing pleasures and the hardness between her legs. She felt her own desires nestling in her muscles as her movements started to become more for her own benefit. She slid her hands up into her hair, leaning her head back while she rolled her hips forward and backwards, her lover squeezing her breasts. The wine in her body made her head rock in a delightful way while their body temperature heated the area around them. Often, a soft breeze would whisk along her skin from the holes above her and she watched the moon as she felt his hands start to explore, sliding down her sides and then around her back to clench her rear as she rocked foward. He whispered her name between the rolling "R"s of his first language and she felt her core begin to climb to climax again. She couldn't remember ever feeling so good.

"Are you okay, Fenris?" She teased, copying his question as she leaned back on her hands, never stopping her motion. She looked down her torso at him.

Fenris lay with a strained expression as he breathed in rhythm to her movements. He moved his hands to her hips and answered in Tevinter through his teeth. Although not knowing what he said, Hawke smirked, untill he lifted her hips and pulled her down onto him hard. She moaned aloud her head snapping back. She looked at him again with defiance but there was a hard edge in her elf's eyes that gave her the feeling she wasn't about to be in control much longer. He lifted her again and thrust upward as he pulled her down onto him.

Hard pleasure rocked through Hawkes body. She put her hands flat on his stomach and took a slow breath. If this really was his first time, he seemed to be a natural. "Again" she purred, and he obliged, holding her hip upward and plunging into her as he yanked her down. Hawke felt all her pride and restraint buckle as his thrust rammed into her, reaching a spot that begged for attention. "Oh Maker, Fenris, fuck me."

His, tempo was much faster than her slow tease as he gave into their raw need. She'd apparently pushed him further than she realized. He held her hips roughly as he thrust hard into her core, again and again, every time pushing himself as far as possible. Each thrust seemed to push the woman further up a wall, pulling pleas and cries of ecstasy from her.

Her warmth wrapped around him tightly as he moved inside her, muscles squeezing him nicely as her body reacted to his hard pace. He hadn't planned to be so aggressive but the way she was calling his name to the moon, the way her hair and breast bounced as he took her, and the way her nails ran along his torso like she couldn't control herself, it was overwhelming. He felt drunk with her sound and feel and he lost himself in the quick rhythm. The woman on top of him swore to the skies as his heavy beat stimulated the deepest parts of her.

Hawke struggled to breathe between thrusts as he bounced her on top of him. The volume of her voice reached inappropriate heights but she couldn't form a thought to change it if she'd wanted to. "There" was all she could manage at intervals before shouting his name as she exploded in orgasm, falling forward onto him.

"Kaffar" he groaned as her body clenched around his groin, the sudden pressure pulling his orgasm from him as well. He wrapped his arms around her and thrust deep into her one final time, feeling himself erupting with her tightly around him before letting his limbs fall to his sides. His head spun and bounced in quick circles as he panted there, a warm pleasure filling his head and blurring his vision. It was a high like nothing he'd ever felt, even as it began to slip away.

A cool breeze rushed over their sweat coated bodies, chilling Hawke who gave a slight shiver as she panted. He wrapped both arms around her as their breathing calmed and they floated down from the flashing peaks of their climax. Fenris lazily reached an arm over the side of the mattress to fling his thick wool blanket over the two of them. Small wooden shavings prickled him from the cheap large cover, which he'd never minded before. The soft woman atop him let out a small "ow" as the blanket prickled her however; he made a mental note to keep it off the floor if he were to have company sleeping over. He adjusted their positions as he disconnected from her and rolled them to their sides. Hawke simply hummed lowly and stayed limp through the entire process.

"Are you alright?" Fenris chuckled.

"Am I?" She opened her eyes, barely. "I think a long running itch has just been scratched."

"Crude" he responded and she laughed, liking the feel of his breath on her face. It made her want to scoot closer to him, but she settled on sleepily tracing the lines on his skin. "Speaking of crude, you never did tell me what Isabella taught you."

"I'll just say it was along the lines of what we just did." Her eyes moved to his.

He laughed fully this time. "I should've expected as much."


	5. The beginnings of regret

_The beginnings of regret_

"27."

Fenris was acutely aware of how many days he'd spent away from the woman he'd fallen in love with. Every sunset, he'd return home from a day of roaming the city, feeling a sense of misplacement. Something in him was counting the days since he'd seen her and it was infuriating. Now he was standing at a market stand in high town frowning at an overpriced fruit trying not to think about it. Unfortunately, there wasn't much else to focus on.

He had expected the relationship to hold its challenges. He was a run away slave completely devoid of any experience in healthy relationships. There were bound to be hiccups. Things Hawke would have to understand or things he himself would have to learn. What he hadn't expected was to be drastically overwhelmed.

Hawke had taken him to her room and they'd tangled themselves in each other. It was a magnificent and chaotic memory. She had been everywhere, enveloping all his senses. He felt her touch all over his sensitive skin in rushed impatient movement and he could remember tasting every inch of her. Her voice and scent filled his ears and nose, but despite all that, the one thing he remembered the most…is forgetting everything.

She had wrapped her arms around his neck as he made love to her and she had looked up to him and said "Leto". He looked down at her and her face was not her own. For a moment she bore dark red hair and the ears of a young elf. Something in him had crashed at that and his heart skipped a beat. He sat up quickly feeling sick.

"What did you say?" He asked, eyes wide, but she'd said noting apparently. Sitting up with him, her features her own and not the strange elf that felt familiar. He frowned but she had quickly redirected his attention to more desirable tasks. They'd made love through the night but the strange sights and sounds would flash through his mind becoming a little clearer each time.

"Mama?"

"The yarn isn't -"

"Dinners almost-"

Fragments of thoughts flashed in his head, but they were easy to ignore as he poured his focus into the beautiful woman he'd found in Kirkwall. That was, until he'd came.

It was better than anything he'd ever felt. It was an explosive ecstasy in her heated arms. He'd cursed and he'd heard her reaching her climax as well, but the sound had faded out prematurely.

He'd opened his eyes and found himself somewhere else; he was someone else. Everything suddenly was so clear. He could see everything and every question he'd ever wondered was so evident and obvious to him it had felt as if he'd never forgotten.

But then it was gone. He'd remembered a life time in a split second, and then in a sudden slip back to reality, it was beyond his reach once more. He opened his eyes to the canopy of Hawke's bed, and her sleeping soundly against his chest. Had it been a dream? Some fucked up way for the fade to taunt him during a rare happiness.

No. For a moment he had known everything, and he had known it was real. The splitting migraine stretching from his crown to his jaw was the aftermath of the forced memories and their instant retreat.

He rolled away from the woman and sat up, staring wide eyed at nothing in particular. His hands were clenched into fists so tight, he couldn't feel his fingers, but could feel the sweat built in his palms. How long had he been like that? Had his flash of insight been longer than it felt? When had Hawke fell asleep? Why the fuck were the memories gone again?!

A roar of rage built in his throat, but he clenched his teeth to swallow it. Pain pushed at the insides of his skull and his heart ached at the loss. The life that was just available had left again. He didn't know how long he sat there in a fury, trying to stay quiet untill a numbness finally swept over him, pulling away his built up energy.

The depression was heavy and instant. And the sweeping emotions and pain and loss were all too much to handle at once. He wanted to run from it. Run from what caused it.

He flinched at the thought and looked to the woman sleeping to his right…this couldn't happen again. As much as he wanted it, as much as he wanted her, there was nothing worth the pain of the past.

Not even the promise of a future.

He was up and dressed and planned on leaving without a word, but Hawke woke up.

She woke up and asked him to stay. She was concerned and tried to soothe him and she'd made it hard like he knew she would. She hadn't begged but he could hear the plea in her voice. It made him want to stay…and that had strengthened his resolve to leave now while he could. Leave before he no longer wanted to. He'd gave her some half baked explanation it hurt his stomach to think about, and left. He'd run, like a coward.

The confusion on her face brought him a nausea he felt he deserved. The busy voices of the market square did nothing to distract him. He clenched the strange foreign fruit and it had unexpectedly crunched and leaked a sticky substance into his hand. It'd looked much sturdier than it actually was.

"Hey elf! What do you think you're doing!" An obviously disgruntled shop keeper voiced. Fenris turned and expected to come face to face with an angry human, but there was no one in his line of sight until the fruit was slapped out of his hand and he looked down at a nicely dressed dwarf. "Where do you get off crushing my sodding wares! I don't suppose you have a sovereign to pay for that deep stalker egg?"

"A what?" He grimaced and held his hand out in disgust as the deep blue gunk fell from his fingers in glops.

"A deep stalker egg! Live and hatchable! And you ruined it. That's a sovereign." He held his hand out.

"A sovereign? For an egg?" Fenris refuted.

"Do you know how deep into the deep roads we have to trek to find nests? Further than any pretty faced, surface-walking, alienage-sniffin' elf is ever gonna wander I'll tell you that!"

Fenris pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn't have a sovereign. He also didn't feel like dealing with the unreasonable reaction the merchant dwarf was sure to have. He'd probably even find a guard to cause a scene. Aveline had already told him he was being watched for squatting. He sighed in frustration.

"He is a pretty face isn't he?" A familiar voice spoke from behind. Fenris stiffened in a way he never had before. His blood ran cold and he felt his heart stutter in a panic. Had he thought her into being? He didn't turn around.

"A sovereign was it?" Hawke asked calmly as she rummaged her change pouch stepping into view. She pulled two sovereign from her pouch and dropped them in the dwarfs large hand. He looked them over skeptically as Fenris looked into the face of the woman who stood by him. She seemed calm, a little smirk between her blemished cheeks. Her dark hair framed her dark face in a pretty way and the pull he felt towards her was only matched by his urge to run.

"Hmph. Seems you have some sodding nice friends elf." The egg salesman grunted and walked off to resume business.

Fenris had a plethora of emotions running through him, but turned to the woman and spoke past it. "Thankyou. I shall repay you when I can."

"No need." Hawke answered scooping up a large egg and bouncing it in her palm. The dwarf across the plaza eyed her warily. "Instead you could accompany me to raid a slavers den tonight. I figured it was something you'd be interested in." She placed the egg down and paused a moment before she looked at him for the first time.

Electricity surged through him when he looked into her deep brown eyes and something in her expression told him she felt a similar surge. She shifted on her feet awaiting an answer to a question he'd seemed to not have heard. "Varric and Aveline are coming as well so if you're not up to it-"

"I owe you. Twice now. I'll be there." He answered.

She flashed a smile and nodded before walking off, cutting their interaction much shorter than he'd expected . "You know where to find us." She spoke without turning around.

He stood there for a moment before cleaning his hand on the canopy of the market stand, ignoring the protests of its owner.

Out of all the emotions he'd conjured in the last few minutes, shame rode his shoulders the heaviest as she walked off. He wondered for a moment if she'd been honest to him with her reasoning. While he did enjoy occasionally killing salvers, it seemed unlikely that was the sole reason she'd seek him out after all this time.

He had hurt her that night. He knew it before, but something in her just now had confirmed it. Then, despite that he still had the gull to feel elated in her presence. To accept her company under false pretenses. He'd just wanted to be around her, and he was excited for it when he had no right to be. He did owe her, and yet he'd been selfish and chosen himself a month ago and now it seemed he was doing it again. He'd decided it was better she hated him…and yet here he was jumping at the chance to make plans.

He started off towards his mansion watching the ground as he walked in his thoughts. The sense of misplacement was gone and he shook his head at himself.

"0."


	6. Tavern songs

This one is less romantic, but I'd had a dream of a song and so I wrote a cute little scene for it.

 _Tavern songs_

It was a hot uncharacteristicly peaceful night in LowTown and a certain group of associates had decided to gather at The Hanged Man for cards and booze.

Fenris sat at a low wooden table in the hanged man, a large flask of dark wine in his hand. He eyed the people whose company he kept and sighed. "A blood mage , an abomination and a mage of noble standing with too much power. I might as well be back in Tevinter".

Merril, Anders and Hawke all reacted in slight annoyance and nothing more.

"Ah yes, misplaced angst is my favorite trait of yours." Varric teased "it even inspired a song I'm writing to the tune of iko iko"

Fenris scowled at his dwarven friend over his cup of wine as Hawke rolled her eyes and placed a card on the table. "Its not misplaced. Mages use magic for their bidding. It's not as if I'm blaming dwarves…and I'm not…angsty."

"What exactly would you call being upset over the same thing all the time then?" Merril chimed, showcasing her new ability to respond with passive aggressive wit instead of debating every offensive thing the Lyrium ghost had to say.

"What is iko iko?" Anders asked, ignoring the brooding elf as he had all night, picking up the card Hawke had put down and replacing it with his own.

"Old dwarven tavern song. A catchy little political tune—" varric started but stopped. " Isabella you're cheating. That's two cards." The dwarf laughed. The pirate sitting across from him clicked her teeth and pulled a hidden card from her breast and placed it in the pile of accumulating cards.

"Nug humper." She slurred picking up her mug of ale. "That's a drawven swear isn'it?" She chugged her drink and swung her empty container in the air to grab a waitresses attention.

"Indeed it is my inebriated friend. You've done your studies." Varric praised.

"I didn't know you'd taken up writing lyrics now Varric." Aveline questioned, leaning against her husband who'd slammed ,what he thought was, a winning card onto the table. Anders waved his finger and picked it up.

"An old habit" varric explained, patting a disappointed Donnic on the shoulder. "I have a few tunes I sing to Bianca every now and again."

Hawke chuckled. "Of course you do."

"I didn't know you sang varric! " Merrill enthused. "Id love to hear the song you wrote."

Varric slid his gaze to Fenris before laughing. The elf sighed and everyone listened.

"Anders Merrill and hawke

Apostates sitting by the fire

Fenris said to those mages

'I'm gonna set your staffs on fire'

Because he hates them (hates them) hates them (hates them)

Why won't they go away?

That elf knows magic will be the death of him some day. "

Varric gave a pretend bow of gratitude. Merril clapped for her friend with genuine support. "Thanks Daisy."

Isabella erupted in a fit of drunken laughter with the rest of the table chuckling with her.

Fenris rolled his eyes.

"You rhymed fire with fire!" Hawke accused between chuckles.

"The original song does the same. Dwarves were never known for their artistry with words my friend; outside of myself of course. " varric shrugged before holding up his last card and dropping it triumphantly.

"Keep making songs like that, and you'll be lumped in with the rest in no time." Anders sighed, sliding his loosing hand across to Hawke who gathered the cards.

"Deal me in this game." Fenris called to Hawke.

"Why, are you sure you want to play with mages? What if we use our magic to cheat?" Hawke patronized with mock concern.

"I'm sure it'll be too flashy for me not to notice." Fenris answered as she dealt. "I'll just have to watch you."

"Oh he'll watch her alright" Varric teased. Merril chuckled beside him.

"Really closely. Right below her neck" Isabella added.

Aveline sighed and Donnic cleared his throat. "Round 17 starts now."


	7. Tough

Another short based on a dream.

 _Tough_

"This is ahm. Ah. Hmm." Fenris tried to search for an appropriate adjective to describe his meal. The very over cooked slab of ram lay atop of a pile of undercooked yet overseasoned potatoes. Hawke sat in front of him on the ground near their camp fire with an expectant face.

"Oh this should be good". Varric chuckled from across the fire, prodding his own plate.

Isabella chuckled next to him pulling her flask from her thigh. " Go on. Let her have it. "

Fenris frowned and Hawke sighed. "It's terrible, isn't it?" She asked.

"Inedible is more accurate" Varric corrected, feeding his food to the fire. "But don't worry, you tried your best and that's what counts."

Hawke sighed and looked at her plate. She plucked a potato into her mouth and spit it out before even chewing. She coughed for a good minute with a fist balled in front of her mouth. Isabella laughed and tossed her flask high above the flame for the choking rouge. She then scraped her own plate into the fire. Hawke took a big gulp but then whipped the container away from her and held it at arms length. Her eyes were shut tight and she screamed behind closed lips. Whatever was in the flask was clearly too strong for her tastes. Her three companions shared a laugh.

"Not our normal pick of wine I presume. " Fenris commented. Hawke sighed and inhaled deeply wiping her face.

"What's bad is that it was still better than the potato." Hawke dumped her plate with the others. She reached her hand towards Fenris's plate.

Fenris picked up his ram and took a bite of it, big enough to fill his mouth.

"Ah no wait. You don't have to." Hawke put her hands up in a placating gesture but the lamb was finished and he moved to the potatoes. His expression was blank and didn't waver once as he worked through the tough meal.

Fenris finished his plate and handed it to Hawke as the others just watched in awe.

"Well I'll be damned." Varric laughed.

"Cute. But how are you even breathing?" Isabella questioned in disbelief.

Fenris sighed with his eyes closed, seemingly letting his stomach settle. "I've had worse."

Hawke looked at him with a small smile. "That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said about my cooking. "


	8. Home

_Home_

"Sir he's been nothing but an asset to this city I guarantee you." Aveline stood in attention in the viscount's office. Hawke stood behind her, arms folded, listening. "You've informed the Amell-Hawke family you'd support them in future endeavors for their assistance with your son. Furthermore,"

"Please." The viscount stood from his desk and pinched the bridge of his nose. "That's enough captain."

"Sir." She answered.

He stepped around the desk and faced the two women. He sighed and held his hands up. "I can't help you."

Hawke sucked her teeth. Aveline jolted in surprise. "But sir! She-"

"Hawke has done a great service to me many times captain I agree with you and I still hold myself entirely in her debt. I assure you, but-"

"But you're a politician and your word means nothing." Hawke interjected, her Ferelden accent laced with disapproval.

The viscount cleared his throat. "I am the head of this city but I am not all-powerful. If I were, I wouldn't be so reliant upon you in dealing with the Qunari." He shut his eyes rubbing the tips of his fingers into his forehead. "Im not a king. The council of the city has made a decision regarding your friend and the nobles have backed it up. I can't make a public stand AGAINST the people. I'm the viscount for Maker's sake."

Hawke stepped infront of the captain. The fact that there was a public movement to get Fenris removed from his 'bando' in high town was news to her. "You've got to be kidding me. Why do these people care about one measly mansion. They each have more property than they know what to do with."

"It's not the mansion they're fussing over. It's Fenris." Aveline frowned, crossing her arms over her armored chest. "He has nothing to his name and yet he lives among their highsociety. They feel like lowtown is leaking into their neighborhoods. Not to mention he's an elf, who they undoubtedly think belongs in the alienage." Aveline frowned in the viscounts direction, who sighed in response. As much as she found the white haired elf intolerable, he was her comrade and a good friend to her husband and Hawke. She also had to deal with her fair share of noble complaints and discovered early on that they were asinine wastes of her time.

"I'll not confine myself to your filthy alienages." Another disapproving voice entered the room. Fenris who had been listening in the hall stepped into the room, seeing that "hawke's favors" weren't panning out the way she'd planned.

"And I suppose you would be our displaced friend, no doubt." The viscount stated, standing straight to address the source of his current headache. As the charge of a city, there was an infinity of other important things he should've been attending to, but here he was, in debt to a foreigner who wanted another foreigner to squat freely in the faces of the nobles who'd put him in office in the first place. Times like these, he often felt he'd lost grip on his own life. "What exactly are you trying to achieve staying in that estate. From my reports it's hardly habitable."

"There's someone I need to kill." He stated bluntly.

The office was quiet except for the clanks of metal as Aveline sighed into her hands. Hawke suppressed her snickers. He really had no couth.

"Are you serious? Is he serious?" The viscount looked to the women.

"Deadly." Hawke chuckled. It was the viscount's turn to bury his face in his hands.

"I won't even begin to question your affairs, I'd really rather not know. But is there really no where else you can stay? I could offer you a room in the guard's barracks? The circle tower? A lowtown apartment outside the alienage?"

"The barracks?" Aveline frowned, but couldn't find a reason to refuse. They had the space.

"It'll be a cold day in hell before he decides to stay at the circle." Hawke commented.

"I will stay at the estate untill Danarius returns to reclaim it. I understand you're worried about appearances. Send men to remove me if you must, they will be struck down." Fenris scowled, firm in his conviction.

"Quite unreasonable isn't he?" Another voice entered the room. Varric nodded to his friends before handing the viscount a stack of papers wrapped in a ribbon. "Lucky for you I've solved your problem already."

"Misseré Tethras? What is this?" The viscount eyed the papers, removing the ribbon. He scanned the first page and frowned. "You purchased the estate?" He directed his frown at Hawke.

The woman's eyes widened. "I did what?!" She looked from the viscount to her short smirking friend. "Varric what did you-"

"Questions, questions." He dismissively waved his hand. "All that matters is that that building is an extension of Hawke estate and she can do with it as she pleases. No further details are necessary, less we incriminate the poor viscount."

The viscount paled and looked at the 'official looking' papers. "Andraste guide me." He groaned pinching the bridge of his nose and placing the papers atop a stack of other documents. "If these fall through, I have no knowledge of where they came from…but I'll attempt to add them to the city registry." He sighed. "That is my favor to you."

"Much obliged." Fenris nodded and Hawke smiled with her hands on her hips.

"Nice work Varric." She complimented following him from the office, the others in suit.

"Eh. I do what I can." He feigned modesty.

"I'll repay you for your efforts." Fenris promised.

Varric shook his head. "No need my friend. It was more for Hawke anyway. I'd hate to see her reaction if her favorite elf was chased from the city."

Hawke reddened and Fenris smirked. Aveline made a face. "I'm sure Merrill would be saddened to hear that." She commented.

"There are things Fenris can offer our Hawke that our dear Merrill would faint to even imagine." He responded.

Hawke stumbled in her step and the elf beside her looked as if he'd been caught.

"Or at least that's how I'm writing it so far. " The dwarf added. The guards captain shook her head and made her leave to return to the barracks.

The remaining three companions walked outside. "Will you refurbish your new estate Hawke?"

She chuckled. "Would you like me to Fenris? Would it make things more comfortable for you?"

"Don't fix it up too much now. It'll take away from his dark and mysterious demeanor." Varric teased.

"Ah yes, we can't disrupt the setting of your fabrications now can we?" Fenris humored.

"Precisely. The holes in the ceiling have made appearances in some particularly memorable scenes" Varric said, smiling as Hawke crossed her arms. She'd always been put off by his stories, but never enough to try and put a stop to them. "You should really consider going over some of the pieces I've written for you two. Hawke could read them to you."

"I refuse to read scenes about….myself. Much less, aloud." she refused immediately.

Fenris smirked at her discomfort. She was bold with her affection when they were alone yet struggled not to seem embarrassed around the others when they teased. It really was no wonder Varric never tired of poking at her; she made it easy.

"Your loss really." Varric shrugged.

"I'll take a look. It'll be rewarding reading practice." Fenris requested, earning a disbelieving look from the woman walking beside him."

Varric laughed aloud. "Excellent. You have to give me your full feedback. I'll bring you my manuscript tonight. I'll assemble the riff raft tonight at the Hanged man to celebrate your new permanent residency as well. We can meet there" he patted the elf once on the back before turning to prepare for the night. "See you later Hawke."

Hawke and Fenris walked to his mansion, discussing the idea of reading the manuscript together without the dwarf knowing. Once they arrived , the elf paused at the door. "Am I still required to invite you inside, considering this is your estate now."

The woman beside him smiled. "This is still your home Fenris. I won't intrude on that."

It'd been a simple and expected answer, but it brought him pause. Fenris looked down at his hand on the door latch and considered the word. Home.

Hawke watched him as he stood there, having an idea of what he was thinking. They'd had many discussions about things free men took for granted and things Fenris had been curious of. Things like "family" and "purpose" and "home".

Hawke hadn't considered wether Fenris considered the mansion his home or not. She stood there as she watched his thoughtful face. It was his choice.

He turned to her and she waited for him to speak.

"Would you allow me to stay here after I've killed Danarius and paid my debt to you?" He questioned.

"Of course." She frowned. The answer seemed obvious to her. She hadn't even really purchased the building to begin with. She didn't want it. Even if she had however, she'd have done it for his sake.

He seemed to consider that. "You and Varric have given me a home. I hadn't expected to find that when I came to this city... Thank you Hawke."

The gratitude touched her but she could tell it hadn't been his only thought. His voice was sincere as he opened the door and stepped inside and turned to her.

"You don't seem to be jumping for joy." She said.

He looked solemn for a moment before sighing. "I've tied my entire existence to my revenge. Its taken this for me to realize there's more outside of that. I've done nothing to build a life for myself. It's been three years but I live in the past so much I might as well still be in Tevinter. I continue to run from Danarius' hold, but I still feel like a slave to him all the same. I am nothing outside of him."

"Fenris. May I come in?" Hawke requested, slender arms folded. The irritation in her request successfully caught the elf off guard. He raised an eyebrow in confusion. She'd never asked before…but he supposed the estate hadn't belonged to him before either. The question was…cute. He smirked, shaking his head.

"Of course."

Hawke stepped inside and grabbed him as he shut the door. She pulled him down and pushed her lips to the underside of his chin and then his lips. He hummed in surprise but didn't pull away until she did.

"You are not your hate." She held his face near hers, her voice stern.

"Then what am I, Hawke." He challenged.

"Free." She answered, the frustration sliding from her tone.

Fenris let the word hang in the air. He didn't feel free and no amount of talking from a beautiful woman was going to change that for him…but it did feel good in the least that she perceived him to be. It made the word feel achievable.

"Alright Hawke." He whispered.

The frowning woman still held his face to her eye level. He lifted his hands to hold her arms and stood upright. "I'll consider your words." He compromised.

"Wonderful." She clapped her hands together. " Now, help me christen my new property?" She offered and stepped forward suggestively.

He raised a brow, looking down at the suddenly pleased woman. "Your property? I thought it was mine?"

"My name is written on the ownership papers. It's your home, just think of me as your landlord."

Fenris laughed aloud, sliding his hands from her arms to her waist. "Alright then. A christening is it? Perhaps we should find the room with the largest holes in the ceiling."

"Varric would be honored." Hawke smiled, leading the way into her lover's new home.


	9. company

_company_

Fenris browsed patiently in the Hawke estate's warm library as he waited for its owner to find her way home. It was growing late and the rest of the household had already gone to bed. Bodhan had made inquiries on the Elf's needs and even suggested that he tried returning on the morrow a few times but Fenris politely refused to leave until he spoke to Hawke. The dwarf eventually resigned, trusting Hawke's traveling companion enough to be left unmonitored in her home.

It had been uncomfortable waiting in the estate throughout the day without the elder Amell woman walking in from time to time for light banter and hospitable offers of drinks or biscuits. He found himself expecting the inappropriate questions she'd ask in a polite voice as if she was unaware of the discomfort she caused. "You travel with my daughter often. I'd even say more so than her other companions, no?"

"How old are you Fenris? ...you don't know? Are you old enough to court? Elves always look so young"

"Did you know the dowry on my daughter's head is considerably higher now that we've regained Nobel standing."

"My daughter has never been with an elf dear. She doesn't think I know of her endeavors but a mother knows all."

A piece of him waited for her to round the corner and pretend to be surprised to see him. He had been in the mansion when she wasn't home before , but the knowledge that she wasn't just out on small errands this time gave the home a feeling of emptiness. He wondered if that feeling was why Hawke hadn't been home the last three nights he'd come to speak to her.

It had been over a month since he stood with Hawke in the makeshift sanctuary in the basement of the foundry as she held her dying mother in her arms. Leandra had spoken fading soothing words to her child, but Fenris knew nothing she said was going to be enough to prepare Hawke for the loss. As if hearing his thoughts, the dying woman flickered her gaze to him and watched him for a moment. He felt frozen as if she were expecting something and he didn't know how to respond. She smiled sweetly at him before looking back to her child.

He hadn't spoken to Hawke after they found her mother and he hadn't seen her since that night. In honesty, during the past month he hadn't known what to say or do or how to react around the woman. It was a poor and insensitive excuse to avoid a comrade in mourning but it was his truth. As far back as his memory would allow him to remember , Fenris had never lost a loved one or ever been in a position to console someone who had, as a slave. Even as he told himself there were others better suited to comfort her, Leandra's parting glance would float through his thoughts.

After a frustrating yet guilt riddled discussion with a certain captain of the guard and a certain sailor, he was persuaded to try his hand at consoling their friend. Apparently everyone else in their little entourage had already made their attempts. He was late but he had known that prior to being reprimanded.

He glanced over a few more titles on the bookshelf before turning to the little desk in the corner and scanning the contents of the books that laid open before him. One held recipes for different potions with small notes scribbled on the side and the other held only one sentence scribbled sloppily across the center of the page. 'I am a failure.'

Fenris hadn't seen Hawke's hand writing enough to be able to recognize it immediately but it matched all of the other things scribbled across papers lying on the desk. He picked the book up with a frown. Danarius had taught him to read enough to empress other Magisters. If it were a novel, he'd be at a loss, but he knew enough to read the simple lines that graced Hawke's journal.

"When I'm gone, you'll be in charge, my biggest little girl. This family is you're responsibility. " He read. "I'm sorry father." was written underneath.

He turned back a page to more scattered one-liners.

What do I do now?

They're all gone.

You're alone.

Kill me.

I'm alone.

I want to go too.

Maker...I have no one left.

The elf ran a stressed hand down his face. She hadn't been handling it well. Of course she hadn't. In the course of four years she'd managed to lose both her siblings and her mother. Fenris didn't have a family, or if he did it was in another time he couldn't remember. But he knew how it could keep you awake at night to know you were alone. The want for a connection was something that hadn't escaped him, but had never been important enough to entertain. He could only imagine how it felt to have actually had them for so long and then have it all snatched away from you. She had gone through her life as a leader of a family, and suddenly she was a party of one.

"I hope its as entertaining as whatever you'd hoped to find in my journal." Fenris' head snapped up from the private text that did not belong to him. Hawke stood leaning haphazardly against the door frame to the study. "Don't worry. Varric and Isabella have already had their share of my diary. It's only fair that you get your turn."

Closing the small book, he stood from the desk. "Forgive me. I shouldn't have."

The woman staggered forward and shrugged her shoulders, moving a way he hadn't seen her before. " I honestly couldn't care less my dear. It's not like I want to remember anything anymore anyway." She reached forward and slid the book from the desk, tossing it towards the fire in one swift motion.

"Wait!" Fenris exclaimed reaching forward, but the diary had simply smacked the side of the fireplace and fell face down onto the floor.

"Shit. Missed" she mumbled and stepped to retrieve it at a curiously slow pace.

Fenris stepped around the desk and picked up the book before she could attempt to discard it again.

"Really Fenris, I don't want it." She slurred his name and the smell of ale hit him.

"You will later" he confirmed.

Hawke simply shrugged and walked backwards until the back of her legs hit her arm chair and she tripped ungracefully into her seat. Fenris sighed and walked to stand in front of the woman who leaned back with her head facing the ceiling.

"Just promise me that you'll at least try not to treat me any differently because of it. The others have been treating me like a thin sheet of glass for the last few weeks and it's making it very hard to distract myself from this shit. I cheated so obviously at cards with Varric tonight and he actually pretended to be impressed when I won."

The elf chuckled in response and sat at the foot of her robes, facing the fire. He sat watching the fire in silence for a moment while the drunk mage behind him hummed old Ferelden tavern songs that were probably stuck in her head. He shook his head at the absurdity of the situation. Finally a free man, yet finding himself sitting at the feet of another mage.

"Is it hard?" He asked breaking the quiet.

He hadn't expected her to hear him, or even know what he meant if she did. "Not when I'm drunk." She answered immediately, knowing what he referred to.

He smirked. "I suppose nothing is".

"What's it like to be sober and not remember your past?" Hawke rose a hand above her head as she spoke, playing with her fingers in the air.

"Isolation," He answered "something is always missing."

She was quiet as she thought about his answer. Comparing his circumstance to her own. "Is it hard?" Hawke's voice rose an octave and cracked.

Fenris heard her voice quiver. "Not when I'm drunk." He answered softly. He watched the fire crackle as the woman behind him sobbed suddenly. He sighed and turned to face her. He wasn't going to sit and let her cry. It felt wrong. Hawke was a strong woman, and that was how she wanted to be seen. He wouldn't watch her break while she was drunk. He'd see her softer side when she was ready to show him.

"You're lucky really." She spoke as he reached to lift her robe slightly and unlace her boots. "To not remember, to not know. What if it was something horrible? Something you're better off living without? Something so bad you couldn't live with it?"Fenris pulled her boot off without answering and moved to the other. She continued, not noticing. "I would trade with you you'know? I'd trade if I could. It's been a month and I still...I still can't" she sobbed again, her eyes shining as he removed her other boot.

Fenris stood and grabbed her hand, pulling her to her feet. "What are you doing?" She staggered on her feet, her head nodding forward and falling on his chest.

"It's late. You need to sleep. If I don't help you, you'll never make the steps."

"No!" she protested. Fenris raised his brows at her sudden frantic tone. "I'm not ready to be by myself yet. I-I thought I was; that's why I came home, but I'm not, I'm not ready, I want to be with people. Where are my shoes?"

Hawke pulled from him, her sentences running together as she walked towards the door. Her feet tangled in her robes and she tumbled forward. Fenris caught her by her elbow and frowned. "You can't even walk."

"Ill be fine. I was fine last night. Just let--"

"I'll stay." He cut her off, pulling her arm over his shoulders.

Hawke's low eyes widened "You'll what?...really?" She seemed doubtful but there was excitement in her voice. She looked up at him as he stared straight ahead and walked with her into the dark moon-lit foyer.

"I'll stay until you fall asleep." He stopped at the base of her steps and looked down at her. "Is that good enough?"

"No" she answered without hesitation.

Fenris raised his brows, surprised she'd rejected him. He was even more surprised at himself for reacting so strongly internally.

"Stay until I wake tomorrow" she amended.

He blinked at her before sighing and hanging his head, ignoring whatever in his stomach had just been soothed. "As you wish." He took a step up the staircase and she tripped immediately.

"Festis" he bent down and swept the woman up into a bridal hold. She let out something close to a squawk and put her hand against his chest.

He climbed the steps and she snorted. "Oh Fenris, how romantic." She teased, laughing at herself half way through the sentence.

The elf smirked and shook his head at the intoxicated woman. He began to speak but a cold realization hit him. He was going to joke about her mother having a field day if she saw them and knew he was staying, momentarily forgetting she wasn't sleeping in her quarters.

He carried Hawke up the stairs in silence.

Hawke's bedroom was about as large as her foyer and Fenris adjusted for a moment realizing it was his first time seeing it. He walked to the bed wondering which side she was normally comfortable sleeping on but knew it didn't matter enough to ask. He set her down atop the covers and she sighed, letting her leg dangle to the floor. He walked around to the other side and sat, leaning against the headboard and fixed one leg onto the bed. He wondered if what he was doing was right choice or even appropriate. Would she wake in the morning and not remember a thing? Would she be shocked to see him? He rubbed his face into his hand. It was too late. He had told her he'd stay, and so he would; even if her request was made in a drunken state. He looked over at the yawning woman and startled to see she was in fact wide awake, watching him.

"What's wrong?" He questioned. She shook her head and continued to watch him. Fenris raised a brow at her, watching her back. She smiled and turned away.

"You look pretty with the moon in your hair. Like a painting."

He blinked at her, not knowing how he felt about being called pretty. Luckily she didn't give him the chance to respond.

"Are you sure it's okay for you to stay here?" She asked, sitting up.

He thought about how he should be the one asking her that question. "Why wouldn't it be? I have your permission. I have no obligations of my own to take care of. What else would I be doing?"

She seemed to accept that. "Alright."

She smiled at him beautifully and it caught his breath but it was gone in an instant. "I'm glad you're here. Sleepovers are exiting. I feel like a child." She chuckled as she reached for the laces of her robe. "I'm going to undress. Don't look."

Fenris nodded, and turned away, struggling to keep up with her unpredictability.

There was ruffling and exasperated sighs. Then quiet. "Unless...do you want to look?"

He froze, caught off guard again and stopped himself from immediately saying no. In her current state, she'd probably take the rejection wrong. He smirked, wanting to say yes but shook his head, compromising between answers. "Next time."

She was quiet for a second. "Promise?"

He laughed leaning onto his knees, putting his face into his hand. "Hawke..." Asking those kinds of questions, she probably wouldn't remember anything in the morning. "Yes. I promise" he humored her.

She made a pleased noise and told him he could turn around.

Fenris was relieved to see her covered with her blanket up to her chin. She let out a relaxed sigh and shut her eyes. "I really am glad you're here." She yawned. "I've always had someone to talk to...this sudden loneliness is a stark contrast to what I'm used to."

She went quiet and her breathing evened. He thought she'd fallen asleep until she spoke again. "I tried spending a day with Sandal. You can imagine how that went...Thankyou. Thankyou for staying." She murmmered. "Please be here when I wake up..."

Fenris nodded, knowing she couldn't see. He watched her sleep for a while, feeling that he'd fulfilled his purpose for the night. He hadn't known what he'd do to aid her but he had decided to be here. It turned out that that was all she'd needed..."I'll be here" .


	10. Little green

_Little Green_

"I wonder if it feels like there are holes burning into the back of her head" Anders leaned against a tree with his arms folded, eyes narrowed at the daydreaming elf.

Merrill sat near the frowning human. "Why would Hawke be feeling something like that? Oh! Do you mean because of all Fenris' staring?"

"Yes." He rolled his eyes. "Because of all his staring."

"I think she knows and she likes it." Merrill giggled. "It must be nice."

"Nice? There's nothing nice about him. What does she even see him?

"I can hear you" Fenris spat in irritation pulling his eyes from the cooking woman on the other side of their camp. He sat on a flattened stump a few yards from the gossiping mages. The upper parts of his armor lay at his feet and he leaned forward, cleaning gunk from his gauntlets.

"Do you see how feral he is?" Anders gestured in his direction, obviously not giving a damn.

"Yes yes. I know." Merrill answered in a lowered voice. "But he isn't that way with her…often."

"I just don't understand the appeal. He's closed minded, angry at the world and makes irresponsible decisions."

Merrill giggled. "Sounds a lot like you don't you think? Perhaps you should try to be friends?"

He frowned at the thin girl who quickly digressed back to the original topic. "Maybe she finds him nice to look at?"

Anders looked over at the shirtless elf who held his shining gauntlet up to the sun, inspecting it.

"He has those pretty markings of his. I'm surprised to see that they go past his arms. I wonder how much of him is covered. " She added.

Anders looked at her with his mouth open. "Oh not you too!"

"What?" Merrill looked to him, confused and then flustered. "Ah! No! No! Not me too! I swear!" Her cheeks colored heavily and Anders groaned.

Hawke walked over from the far side of the camp. "What's wrong Merrill?" She asked concerned. The little elf assured her friend it was nothing while Anders watched Fenris watch Hawke.

His eyes traveled down her figure and leveled at her hips.

"Augh. I can't with this. " The mage groaned and walked to the far side of the camp.

"Anders?" Hawke called?

"Leave him alone to be a child." Fenris said, in disgust walking over to the women. Merrill looked wide-eyed at his face, then his torso; Anders' accusation in her mind. She reddened and covered her cheeks in a flustered motion. "Oh ancestors, I didn't mean it like that." She thought aloud before she scuttered away.

"Ah, Merril?" Hawke reached for the girl who vanished into the woods. She sighed and turned to Fenris. "What was all that about? What did I miss?"

"Mages being mages." He answered.

"I am a mage Fenris." Hawke stated, hands on her hips.

"I know." He answered, looking at her.

"Sometimes I feel like you forget." She smirked.

"I don't." He crossed his arms, frowning at her.

"Hmm. Alright. Nice to know what I am doesn't stop you from staring." She smiled, something suggestive in her eyes.

His eyebrows rose for a moment, but he smirked. "I could say the same."

"Ah, so Ive been caught." The mage laughed aloud feeling the tables turn.

"Multiple times. I could leave my armor off for the rest of the day if it'd make things easier for you. " He bluffed.

"Maker please! Get a tent!" Anders called, across the cooling fire pit, pushing up from his seat and walking off.

Hawke sighed and Fenris smirked. "I'd never imagined a mage would be jealous of me one day."

"You do this to him on purpose don't you?" She accused.

"Of course." He smiled, his green eyes amused.

"How uncharacteristic." She laughed


	11. Decisions

_Decisions_

The wind carried the screams of the people from the little village below. She stood on the high cliff top, watching as it burned in the distance, its people being slaughtered. They'd done nothing, just like countless villages before them. It didn't matter. They were going to be added to the growing list of casualties in Thedas.

She'd been in the village, restocking when everything began. Like so many towns before them, apostates had hid among the crowds , trying to find refuge from a war they didn't want to fight. But eventually word had spread to nearby templars who declared themselves "honor bound" to find and eliminate them all…along with anyone that may be an abomination. They'd cling to that logic and their fear of blood magic as an excuse to slay anyone who wasn't one of them. Of course then the mages, pushed into a corner, would fight back, wild with fear.

Hawke had watched a young girl, a gentle scholar from the circle was pushed to blood magic to defend herself and her child brother The templars were going to spear them both; the child hadn't even been a mage. She was one of many pushed into the arms of demons who promised to make them stronger.

Then they'd begun killing the villagers too. The young mage laughed and set her own brother aflame.

Hawke clenched her fist tight at her sides. Her stomach churned as she listened to the screams grow quieter and fewer. So much life stolen, and it all fell on her. It was her fault.

She'd freed the mages of Kirkwall. Told them to run for their lives and set off a chain reaction. Despite what her intentions were, and regardless of the circles innocence, her actions that day had been tied to Anders' decimation of the Chantry. The mages had escaped the same day another had terrorized the city and the knight commander had been executed. In the eyes of templars and many of Thedas, it was all connected and labeled the beginning of the Mage rebellion.

The beginnings of blood spill and war throughout the land. Would it have turned out the same if she would've let the rite of annulment claim the Kirkwall circle? Were all these lives worth the handful of mages she'd helped escape?

She looked down at her hands and they were stained deep crimson.

"Hawke. We should move out." A hand landed on her shoulder and startled her from her thoughts. She looked over her shoulder at Fenris who stood with the packs of their small camp on this back. He'd managed to pack everything alone while she'd stood staring, lost in her thoughts. She looked down at her hands. Clean.

She sighed and shook her head. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have helped. Ah! I-I mean I should've helped you pack." She groaned, rubbing her head, before going to sit on a log near the embers of their snuffed fire.

The elf sighed and looked at her. He'd watched as the world around her changed. She had changed with it, growing more withdrawn as time went on.

"Whoever, or whatever is left from that village will be making its way here soon. We need to move on." He repeated.

"Yes." She agreed, resting her face in her hands, making no move to leave. "Fenris…"

She grew quiet as the wind whistled through the trees. The chaotic sounds of the village had disappeared, but black smoke continued to pour into the sky.

"It'd be better if we parted ways from here on." She spoke into her hands.

His eyes widened and he watched her, waiting for her to continue. She didn't.

Her grimaced, and his heart hammered. Whatever she was thinking, was wrong and he wasn't going anywhere.

"And then what?" He asked, not even questioning her reasoning. He didn't care for it.

She looked to him, feeling tired and then looked to her feet. "You can start a new life somewhere. Free of…this." she waved her hand in the direction of the smoke. "I…I did this and I'll spend the rest of my life dealing with it or running from it."

"And I'll be in your way?" He snarled, watching her through his hair. After everything they'd been through…and everything he'd said, how could she be so stupid. He felt angry…but he'd left her once. He had no right.

Hawke shook her head and rubbed her arms. "You know that's not true. This is…this war has nothing to do with you Fenris. It's been years and the killing hasn't stopped. Not only are they looking for me, I'm a known mage now. But you don't have magic and you're not sworn to the order, you're not involved. Denarius is dead and you have no reason to run. I don't know why you've chosen to this far."

"You don't know?" He laughed as if he too were suddenly tired. "The woman I love is a mage. Maybe you've met her?" He declared stepping toward her. "Magic runs in her veins and the veins of her family. Any children we bare might…" he squatted, closing his eyes tight. He pressed his forehead to hers.

Children? She thought wide eyed, watching Fenris inhale deeply through his nose as whatever possibility he was considering played out in his mind. He'd thought of having children with her?

She could almost see it. A little girl who looked like Bethany with his green eyes, accidentally sneezing a fireball. She could also see the shadow of a Templar behind her. Hawke's heart raced.

Fenris' eyes opened and he held her gaze with a protective fierceness. "I am very much involved. I've made my choice, and if I could go back, I'd make the same ones. Despite how you feel about this aftermath, you would too. So stop this regret and get up." He ordered, standing, pulling her to her feet.

She swallowed at the knot in her throat a few times but knew her voice would fail her. She closed her eyes and nodded, feeling traitor tears slide from her lashes.

Fenris ran his thumbs over her cheeks, feeling something in him soften whenever he saw the strong woman cry. "Now lets go." He held her wrist and led the way into the mountains.


	12. For your entertainment

_For your entertainment_

"Well I'll be a deep stalkers third tit." Isabella put her hand to her hips and quirked a brow. Aveline and Hawke turned to catch the source of her reaction.

Fenris stood in the doorway to his mansion, Varric exiting behind him before he closed the door. Hawke felt an excited flutter in her stomach. She'd been playfully attracted to the elf before, but it'd been quite some time since she felt butterflies towards anyone. He walked over to them, eyes cast down until he was a foot away.

"I present to you, my greatest project yet." Varric announced, gesturing his open palms to the elf who stood in uncertainty, still seeming to take in his own appearance. Fenris wore high necked black robes and pants with a matching long open trench coat. He still sported his gauntlets atop his jacket and even seemed to find boots of a similar design. He looked good.

"I'm impressed Varric." Aveline nodded wide eyed. Her husband stood near her and nodded in agreement.

"You lot clean up well" Donnic complimented the group. Isabella stood in a deep blue form-fitting lowcut dress she'd no doubt stolen and tore the sleeves off of. It stopped just below her nether regions. Varric on the other hand wore a crimson jacket much like his usual but with delicate gold stitching.

Fenris looked at Hawke who'd yet to speak and drank in her attire. She was beautiful and her armors often hid it from view. He put a hand to his chest and bowed at the waist, as was proper custom at the beginning of a date. Or so Varric had explained.

Aveline gasped. Isabella laughed and clapped. "Even manners?

Varric shrugged. "I didn't think he'd actually do it. Is this everyone? No daisy? No blondie?"

"Anders thought it better not to purposely go to a gathering of templars and city guard." Aveline answered. "I'm assuming Merril thought the same. I'm sure the viscount would appreciate there not be unnecessary scandal at his sons birthday party."

"Ah, I see." Varric chuckled. "Things will be a lot less interesting than I planned in that case. I was looking forward to having Justice in a room of templars." He lied.

Hawke side stepped a little closer to Fenris as the others talked. He looked to her noticing, and tried to keep his eyes on her face. "You look nice." They muttered in unison. Hawke laughed and he smirked. Her butterflies seemed to settle a little but she could still feel their presence. He smelled of mint soaps.

"I wouldn't imagine you the type to own a dress like that." He commented and started to follow the others as they walked. She looked down at herself, feeling selfconcious, but confident enough to mask it. Her red dress contrasted nicely against her tan skin. Her sun bleached hair tied up in braids atop her head. The dress hugged her and covered her completely but was slit high on both sides.

"You would imagine correctly." She laughed. "This is my mothers."

His brows shot up and he pictured the older woman sporting the high slit dress and regretted it. "Also unexpected" he frowned.

The viscounts son had suggested Hawke join the festivities earlier that week before his father had a chance to protest. His father had smiled begrudgingly and told them it was a formal event and they were "by no means required to come on such short notice."

Isabella and Varric however couldn't have been more on board with "drinking the finest spirits and offending nobles".

The venue was on the edge of high town, an open rooftop on a building high enough to see most of the city lights. Lanterns hung every few feet and makeshift bars were set all along the walkways. Music played low enough to just be heard over the idle banter of the city's elite. Bottles of dark wine and barrels of stronger things sat under red lights. Isabella had dragged Aveline off immediately. "Let's find your inner party, guard captain." Donnic waved at her as she shot him a worried glance from the nearest ale stand. The bartender's eyebrows rose as Isabella held up four fingers.

"I see the viscount spared no expense" Fenris commented, taking in his surroundings.

"Yes I'm sure the people of Kirkwall appreciate their tax dollars being put to good use." Varric smirked. "Just look at this. I guarantee this is real gold". He picked up a shining wine glass and shook his head.

"The amount of templars gathered here is…unnerving. Must they be in uniform all the time?" Hawke whined, walking through the people with her companions.

"When making official public appearances, yes." Donnic answered. "Same for the city guard unfortunately. Aveline would've looked lovely in a gown." He sighed. Looking from his wife's armor in the distance to his own. Hawke nodded, glad Anders had followed his better judgment.

"Sir Tethras! Thank The Maker you're here. Please, I need your assistance. Ah, Missere Hawke? Is that you?" The viscount appeared before them in a fluster and paused upon realizing Varric wasn't alone. "And your date for the evening I presume?" He looked toward Fenris, looking over them both in disbelief. "You look, er elegant this evening." He complimented carefully.

"Acceptable, you mean." Fenris translated, rolling his eyes.

"Nice to see you again as well Viscount Dumar." Hawke smiled politely, with a tease in her eye.

"Er, quite." The viscount straightened. "Sir Tethras, a moment, if you would?" He led Varric away from the party. He shrugged to the group as he followed.

Donnic, Fenris and Hawke found a small corner table to sit and a waiter in plain clothing brought them golden mugs to drink from. They watched Kirkwall's rich and famous casually conduct themselves as if used to the grand events. The music slowed suddenly and the crowd broke off into couples.

Donnic stood "If you'll excuse me I'm going to try to dance with my wife."

"Two fully armored guards swirling and clanking on the dance floor?" Hawke teased.

Donnic grimaced at the visual but laughed it off. "I'll get what moments I can take." He replied before weaving into the crowd.

Hawke sighed with a smile. "Must be nice."

"To dance?" Fenris looked to the woman making a wistful expression. It made her look like a young girl. She was…pretty in the low lanterns.

"To have someone to dance with." She corrected, leaning on her elbows.

"Hmmn." Fenris listened to the low music and watched couples exchange dancing partners. He recognized the melody, although it was little different. He stood and offered his hand.

She blinked up at him confused at first and then unbelieving.

"I know this song. It's Tevinter." He explained. "If you wish to dance Hawke, at least let it be to a song I know." He suggested.

She laughed in an airy way and took his hand, butterflies returning. "You can dance?" She asked following him onto the floor. They received expected glances. Most curious but a few disapproving.

"Denarius had thrown similar events" he explained, turning to her, placing one hand just above her hip and the other near his face. She placed her open palm on his and followed his lead. "There was always a time where the houses would have the slaves dance. Something slow," he turned her. "Something graceful. It showcased the master's power and control."

Hawke watched his face as he spoke, her body close enough to feel the pull of his movements so she didn't have to watch his feet. "This is the first time I've seen you speak so calmly of your life as a slave."

"Hmmmm. Is it?" He noted. He held his left arm out, letting her step away slightly before pulling in close again. She raised her brows, when she realized everyone had done the same. "It was…an enjoyable time, even though we weren't allowed to dress or socialize. I'd grown to resent the pretend freedom after a while however. "

Hawke nodded in understanding. "I suppose I'm lucky to be able to witness your hidden talent then."

He seemed to consider that and smirked. "I can…do many things you've yet to witness."

She'd held eye contact as they spoke but a part of her wished she hadn't. Something in his words sent her fluttering friends into a frenzy. A much larger part of her however was intrigued. "Oh really? Such as?"

The elf smiled at her and spun them both in tune with the melody. He decided now wasn't the time to play into their little game. "I can cook." He offered, not giving her the answers she was looking for, but she smiled nonetheless.

"But most slaves are taught to cook, are they not?"

He nodded at that. "I can play music."

She seemed surprised at that one. "Really? What can you play?"

"Just about any string instrument. I could show you one day if you'd like." He offered.

She felt an anticipation at the thought of learning more about him while they were alone. "I'd love that actually."

He nodded and wrapped his arms fully around her, pulling her body into him. She let out a small gasp but noticed other dancers doing the same. Fenris smirked at her reaction and let her go as the song ended. Each gentleman held the hand of their partner and brought it to their lips. Hawke raised a brow as Fenris did the same, seeming to have expected it. He smiled at her over her hand. Her fingers tingled as he kissed them and let them go.

They walked back to the corner table where Donnic sat alone looking defeated.

"Guardsman Donnic?" Hawke called before reaching him. "Where's Aveline?"

"I don't know. I couldn't find her for the life of me. That Isabella has stolen my wife." He sighed into his hands.

Hawke laughed. "That Isabella probably has."

Varric appeared then, with a lottery winning smile. "Oh man. I found you all in time. You're not going to believe what's happening. Tonight is going to be priceless." he announced before laughing to himself.

"What's happened Varric?" Aveline appeared as well, her eyes low and one arm over Isabella's shoulder.

"Turns out madam Ironfist is a lightweight". Isabella chimed and handed her off to her husband who gawked at her in astonishment. How Isabella had even gotten the women to take a drink was beyond him.

Varric practically glowed. "Aveline? Is she…Oh this just gets better and better. This was a fantastic idea Hawke."

The blonde woman smirked at her friend. It hadn't been her idea at all.

"Attention esteemed guests" an elevated voice called over the noise of the crowd, effectively hushing them. "Announcing the guest of the evening, the 'birthday boy' and his exotic date for the evening. Miss Levelan of the Dalish."

"Levelan?" Hawke questioned. "That sounds familiar."

"Dalish?" Fenris frowned.

"Oh here it comes." Varric warned, excitement radiating off of him.

Lanterns were lit and the announced duo was illuminated. The viscounts son stood proudly in fine beige and gold dressings aside a slender Elvan woman who wore a loose pale green gown that flowed to the floor. Her sheer sleeves hung prettily past her fingers.

"MERRILL!?" Aveline shouted as the others gasped in complete shock. Varric was beside himself in amusement.

The crowd erupted in noise, half applause and half cries of shock and offense. Somewhere in some distant corner the Viscount wept. Scandal had been born despite his efforts. His son and an elf? A foreign elf to boot. The Dalish were an enigma to city dwellers.

Merrill looked around warily as she was surrounded by people with questions of her relationship with the Dumar family. She hardly answered any of them before seeing her companions through the crowd.

"Hawke!" She held her dress and shuffled up to her friend, apologizing to those she bumped. "Oh Hawke! You look absolutely stunning!" She smiled and held her hands in genuine awe of her dressed up friend.

"Me? Look at you Merrill." Hawke laughed and spun the slim girl around. "I didn't know you were coming."

"Yes well, I wasn't going to come actually. But the viscounts son came to my home. He even picked this odd dress. Can you imagine that? A noble Shem like him in the alienage. Ancestors, So many people stared."

"I can imagine. The son of the viscount picking up a mage." Fenris critiqued.

Merrill frowned, making Hawke notice the blue tint to her lips, but continued. "He told me he hated how humans viewed the people of this city who were different than them. He said he wanted to make a statement and would be honored if I'd appear with him tonight."

"Oh Daisy I could kiss you!" Varric laughed. "Why you out of every elf in Kirkwall?"

"He says it's because I'm so close to nobility and that will make people pay attention to my culture …um I suppose that referred to Hawke. But I was also raised with my clan. He called me one of the 'genuine elves'." She explained with a sense of wonder.

"So what does that make the rest of us who arnt Dalish born?" Fenris scoffed. "Pretend elves?

"Ah madame Hawke." The topic of discussion and guest of the evening appeared. He bowed politely to his guests. "Thank you for coming this evening and bringing your array of company. I respect your acceptance of differences and hope you enjoy the evening." It wasn't until then that Hawke had even realized her party consisted of a ferelden guard captain, an antivan criminal, a Tevinter elf and a dwarf raised on the surface. She laughed aloud.

"My pleasure."

Varric poorly masked his amusement. "You sure are consistent. First you play with the Qunari and now the elves. Please, walk with me and tell me all about your plans to bring cultural understanding to Kirkwall." He held a hand to the mans back and led him away, choosing his words carefully. Merril smiled to Hawke before following her date.

"Oh maker this isn't going to end good…I mean, well." Aveline frowned putting a hand to her head. She leaned heavily on Donnic who chuckled in adoration.

"I don't know if I should be worried about you or savor this memory." He laughed, looking lovingly at his wife who slouched in all her armored glory.

"You should worry about merril!" She exclaimed, trying to stand on her own.

"What's wrong with Merrill?" Isabella questioned, standing on her toes to spot the girl. "She looked fine. More infuriatingly pure than normal even."

"She's a MAGE!" The guards woman shouted turning many heads. Donnic paled visibly and Isabella dropped her flask. "We have to get her—! Hmph!"

Isabella's hand was over her mouth quickly and she wrapped an arm around her. "Oh Aveline! Best joke of the evening that was!" She faked laughter terribly. "Tell it to me again. Outside. Away from everyone." She and Donnic practically carried the stumbling redhead out the venue.

Hawke sighed and laughed in the same voice, rubbing at the bridge of her nose.

"I never pictured her to be a loud drunk." Fenris remarked. He looked to Hawke, who seemed to be struggling between worried and humoresque reactions. He smirked. "A cup of wine perhaps?"

She looked to him and smiled, grateful for his stable company. "Absolutely."


	13. Inquiry

Based off of Champion dialogue. "Fenris would have killed himself to protect me. I wouldn't give him that chance."

Inquiry

 _Hawke!_

 _How have you been? I know you weren't feeling too upbeat last time I saw you. Still blaming yourself for the fate of humanity? I sure hope not; I'm sure it's unhealthy._

 _I've been keeping busy, myself. Very busy actually. I published enough works to keep my fans satisfied for a while. You've been keeping up with "Hard in Hightown" I hope? I sent the latest volume with this letter just in case. Autographed of course. Don't let your elf burn it._

 _Outside of that I've been pretty bored. Tracking red lyrium, meeting grey wardens, putting an end to the mage rebellion. Y'know. Small stuff. Hobbies._

 _But none of that would be possible if it weren't for my new friends (and you know I don't use that word loosely). Which brings me to the purpose of this letter._

 _I'm sure you saw the giant green hole in the sky. Knowing you, you've probably been dragging our poor Fenris around saving the helpless from demons. I'm sure his brooding has become excessive. But I digress; the breach is gone. The people I'm with, they managed to close it. Maybe you've heard of them. "The Inquisition". I won't go into too much detail but Hawke…I've seen them do good work. They're really trying to save this world, and they're growing. Honestly it's something I feel good to be a part of. The leader might surprise you both. She's a mage AND an elf, leading an army of humans. Shit, some of them even worship her._

 _Don't worry, she dosnt feed into it. She reminds me a lot of you actually. I've even slipped up and called her your name a few times._

 _They could use someone like you to help with things Hawke. Things have gotten more dangerous than ever. An old magister friend of ours has popped up and is royally fucking everything up. You've never been one to sit idle for too long, especially while the world burns around you. There's a map to Skyhold in my book. Consider this your invitation to drop by._

 _~Varric_

"I do not brood." Fenris brooded into Hawke's hair, laying behind her on the small mattress. He reached over her to inspect the book that had accompanied the letter they'd found waiting for them on the stoop of the small farm house they'd bought in Ferelden. They hadn't been there long, a few days but it'd been a haven. Hidden in the edge of the kocari wilds, where no one would look for them anymore.

"How did he even find us." Fenris cracked the crisp spine of the new book with a dramatically illuminated cover. Varric's swooping signature sat largely on the first page with a small note beneath.

 _Tell Fenris not to worry about how I found you._

Hawke laughed. "Oh, I miss Varric." She reached and picked up the small folded map that'd fallen from the book. "Ah! So far!"

"You arnt considering going to join these people are you? And you've managed to kill every magister you've met."

"Why not? I'd like to see this new Order for myself." she answered.

"A group of people with enough power to end years of war and close a portal to the fade…that just want to use their strength for good?" he questioned.

"Varric wouldn't have contacted me if it weren't worth looking into. I trust him Fenris. You do too. I mean…if what he's saying is true, these people have managed to undo what I've done. "

"You didn't corrupt the Circle or the Templar order Hawke." Fenris interjected.

"Yes but I managed to bring them both crumbling down." She turned under the sheets to face the elf that circled his arms around her.

"A feat all its own, yes, but not your fault OR responsibility." He ran a hand through her hair before closing his eyes. " If they already have an army with a leader, why do they need you? What exactly can one woman do alone?" Fenris sounded exhausted.

"Change the world. I've done it once already havn't I?"

He chuckled at the valid argument. "Whatever you do Hawke…you'll have me." He drifted to sleep as she lightly traced the shape of his ear.

Hawke watched as her lover slept for a moment before sitting up and reading the letter again.

 _Things are more dangerous than ever…an old magister…_

"Corypheous?" She whispered to herself. "How?…I killed him." Her stomach lurched. She'd seen the damage he'd done once before. She'd almost died, along with the people she loved. Had she really left him alive all this time? She looked to Fenris… despite how he felt, she would always feel responsible.

For everything.

 _I keep making mistakes. I need to set things right without risking anyone else. I hope you meant it when you said I'll have you no matter what. I'll return to you._

 _I love you Fenris._

 _~Hawke._


	14. doubt

Hawke and Fenris have gotten along so well in my stories haven't they?Smothered By Moths: Thankyou so much for the review. I was actually thinking about stopping until I saw it. I've gone back and fixed the spelling quirks you pointed out, heh. Thanks.

 _Doubt_

"So Orana, she's..."

"Shes...?" Hawke watched Fenris struggle for words as he looked into his small salad bowl. Orana had made a light lunch for Leandra and bought the extras into the upper dining area for Hawke and her guest. She'd bowed politely before leaving to do other tasks. Fenris had seemed unsettled since.

"She likes it here?" He asked.

"I believe so." She answered wearily. They had not seen eye to eye on just about anything for a while and it was chipping away at Hawke's tolerance. He had a way of criticizing every breath she took, as if her existence in itself were evil. He probably thought it was.

"And she's free to leave as she pleases?" He looked to her face, seemingly defensive.

"Of course she is." Hawke stopped eating from her own bowl, feeling the conversation was going to go in a serious direction. "She's not a slave Fenris."

"So you've said..." He looked at his salad, doubt in his voice. "Have you made her aware of that?"

Hawke frowned instantly. She had stopped herself from being offended when she had first offered to employ the young elvan woman. He had accused her of taking a slave before even asking any questions. She had chalked it up to his emotions being on a high since they were in the midst of tracking Adriana. She explained to him that she had every intention of paying the girl. That seemed to settle things, but here he was bringing it up again. "Slavery is not even legal here Fenris. This isn't Tevinter. There are different rules."

"Rules" he spat, still looking away from the woman. "Rules have never stopped mages from doing as they pleased."

"Ah, I see. So an elf working under a mage can only mean one thing?" She felt distaste involuntarily morph her features.

"You think it could be possible for it to be anything else?" He turned to her, standing from his seat. "That girl just went from one owner to the next, and what's sick is that you think you're doing her a favor."

"You..."

'Closed minded oaf!'

Anders' words ran through her mind. As much as she thought Anders was going down a dangerous path, she couldn't help but agree with his outlook on things and as of recently, his outlook on Fenris . 'What do you see in him? He only sees magic in you.'

"Bodhan! Orana!" She called out suddenly, and Fenris startled. She heard their voices and shuffles before they climbed the steps .

"Missere? Is everything alright?" The dwarf asked in concern, slightly winded from running the steps? The young girl stood behind him, worried. As long as she'd been there, she'd never been summoned. She eyed her salad warily.

"It will be. Are you busy with anything at the moment?"

"Why not at all. Was there something you needed? Perhaps a delivery?" He offered with a ready smile.

"I was wondering if you'd mind escorting Orana throughout the city today. I want to give her a break but I'm afraid she doesn't know the area."

"Oh but my lady, I couldn't !" Orana's eyes widened as she spoke. "There's so much to do. I haven't even begun the lower levels! I- I… Have I done something wrong?" She glanced at the salads, once more.

" No, no of course not but you've been in the estate so often. There must be so much you haven't seen yet. Why don't you go explore? Er...Hightown, at least. I insist. The lower levels will still be here when you return." Hawke smiled. "Perhaps my mother can accompany you on your walk? She loves the shops on the western end."

Fenris frowned as his host walked the baffled elf and her escort to the door and then returned up the stairs. "Was that an attempt to showcase your kindness?" He said, a mild disgust in his expression.

"No; it was an attempt to get them out of my house so they won't hear us settle this. Maker knows how that girl will fret if she thinks she's causing a problem." Hawke mumbled the last part to herself. She watched from the upper balcony as her workers spoke to her mother momentarily before leaving as a group.

They were alone.

She spun on the brooding elf that stood behind her, marching toward him. "What exactly am I doing that you don't approve of? I'm giving her safety, food and shelter. I didn't steal her away from her family and my intentions are good." She walked up to him and pressed a finger into his chest.

He looked surprised for a moment at the sudden change in her tone, but quickly matched it. "Ah, I suppose that she should be grateful to you then; the same way I should be to Denarius. He always did keep a roof over my head." He snarled, barring his teeth at the name of his old master.

Hawke gawked, her mouth open in disbelief. Had he really compared her to Denarius?

"Not all mages are like the Magisters Fenris!"

"At first." He added

"Huh. Well I suppose it's only a matter of time for me then. Why not kill me now?"

He flinched at the notion but didn't break eye contact. He really didn't like arguing with the woman, but she was too accepting and trusting in the stability and intentions of those who practiced magic. He wasn't going to treat any mage like they were beyond the possibility of becoming tyrannical. Or insane. That included her.

There was a part of him however, that admired her, and wished she just wasn't what she was. He knew there was nothing she could do about it. With her standing so close, that part of him wanted to restrain his reactions to her, even a little. But his past was his past. His hate was pure and real and unbiased.

"Merrill has never lived on her own and she's stable, WITHOUT your 'charity'" he argued.

"Orana is as much of a...a...dandelion as Merril! If not more! But she's NOT a mage and is completely incapable of defending herself! Yet you'd just have me dump her in darktown with the rest of the homeless!"

"Defending yourself." He mocked in a disgusted tone. "Of course that's what you'd call blood magic." He threw his hand up and turned away from her.

"Wha- don't change the subject! That's not what this is about!" Hawke shouted, at last her anger flashing.

"I've had enough of whatever this is." He spat, heading toward the stairs.

Hawke was not one to accept dismissal. She marched around him and stood in front of the steps with her arms out. Her eyes danced in a restrained anger.

"Do you intend to be a child now?" He almost laughed at the ridiculousness of her actions.

"You're not leaving yet." She barked.

He scowled, inhaling deeply. He'd taken his last order from a mage long ago. "Move, Hawke". He growled and walked toward the steps.

"No." Also refusing to take orders, Hawke stepped forward and pushed the elf who tried to brush past her. His skin flared blue as he stumbled back a step. In a flash of anger he grabbed her arm and flung her away from the steps. She caught herself on the table and glared, unphased. Fenris took a step toward her and she readied herself, but he stopped. He grabbed the ledge of the stairway with one hand tightly and brought the other to his face to calm the vibrations humming under his skin. He hadn't meant to fight her; he didn't want to.

Hawke apparently had taken the toss as a 'round-one' bell however.

She didn't give him a chance to calm himself. Her hair flew wildly as she lunged at the glowing elf with every intent to release her frustrations against his skull. Unfortunately he had different plans. Hawke passed right through Fenris and stumbled forward. He grabbed her from behind, wrapping both arms around the enraged mage. He'd stopped her from tumbling down the stairs but it didn't seem to matter. She struggled against him and for a second he squeezed her tight in frustration, clenching his teeth. She groaned in his grip and he shut his eyes to try and find a sense of calm. "Stop Hawke." He demanded, as his glows faded but his grip did not. She continued to try and break from his hold until he sighed . "Please..."

Hawke held still, his slightly submissive tone surprising her, but her heart pounded in her ears. She watched his arms as the last of his glow faded away. A weight landed on her shoulder and she blinked realizing it was his head. He stood quietly, breathing into her neck. She chastised herself at the little chill in her spine.

His glow was gone but his grip was still tight as she stood staring down the steps she'd almost tasted. Fenris talked calmly, his body close enough to let her feel the soft rumble in his chest as he spoke. "I will not fight you."

She scoffed. "That should make it easier for me to beat the bigotry out of you."

"You haven't even used magic" he tried to call her bluff.

" I don't need magic to take you."

He sighed, instead of arguing, and turned her around. "Your ideals...Anders's ideals are dangerous. You have to realize that."

"And you're ideals are hypocritical! You of all people should understand the pursuit of freedom!" She rebutted.

His eyes widened. "I was a SLAVE. At the mercy of sadists!"

"And mages of the circle are PRISONERS at the mercy of every damned crooked Templar in Thedas!"

"Better that than becoming magisters and ripping the world apart!" He spat, pushing her away.

"Oh so the concept of slavery would be fine if it were mages in collars then?!" She accused following him.

A vengeful fire flickered at the thought. He saw a flash of himself staring down at Danarius, the magister bowing in submission at his feet.

"I'd be lying if I said the thought didn't appeal to me."

Hawke cocked her arm back and swung hard at his chest, words being lost to her. Her blows were easily avoided as they seemed to dance around the room. His hypocrisy was blatant. She'd fought and killed countless slavers to keep him free. She was now fully convinced he would not do the same for her. She'd known how he felt about magic since the start but for some reason she still felt betrayed. She ran at him, frustrated with his constant back-stepping making her swings hit open air. He reached out and grabbed her arms, pulling her to him and stopping her fists. His scars surged to life, illuminating their faces in blue.

"You're not a warrior Hawke! If you want to hurt me you'll have to resort to magic." He sneered. "It's only a matter of time before you do. Mages are incapable of achieving things through their own means."

"Through my own--I'M not the one who flares blue every time someone pushes me!" She spat, pulling at her arms.

He yanked her forward hard. "I didn't ask for these markings!" He yelled at her, raising his voice higher than hers for the first time. He bent forward starting into her face.

"And I asked for magic!!?" She screamed incredulously, pushing up on her toes against him. "I was born this way! I can't simply kill the person who made me this way like you can! You fucking idiot! You kill one person and you're done running! I'll be running for the rest of my life!" She kicked him hard, and he winced but didn't let go. "Why are you here?! I'm a mage with servants and nobility right?! If I'm no different then Denarius why do you fight by me Fenris!?"

She screamed his name and the question rang in his ears. An instant later he had pulled her face to him. He pressed his lips against hers hard, not realizing what he'd done. It was impulsive and almost involuntary, like something in him needed to answer her but words wernt sufficient.

She tasted like salad.

Hawke yelled in a shocked outrage and bit hard into his lip. He pulled back but his reaction was cut short when her fist connected with his mouth. His head snapped back for a second and he held a hand to his bleeding lips. He frowned looking at her, leaning against the table behind him. He wasn't sure if he wanted to shake her or himself.

The mage in front of him huffed, looking angrily at the floor in confusion. Her chest held an unwanted excitement she recognized. It wasn't the first time he'd touched her and made her skin burn. Her head felt lighter and her body had almost reacted differently. It was infuriating. She looked to the elf that'd kissed her. He stood, wiping the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand. She let out a dark laugh. "I told you I wouldn't need magic to land a hit.".

His green eyes flashed to her and she tensed, frowning at his unpredictability. He really did just do whatever he wanted. He killed men in high places, claimed houses, denied the guard, disregarded her rights and the needs of any mage…and now this?

Fine. She'd do whatever she wanted too.

Fenris crouched with a snarl as the orange haired woman ran at him. Her punch had brought him back to reality, even enough to make him regret some of the things he'd said, but apparently that hadn't been enough for her. His carvings flared again and he let them. He hadn't expected her to jump at him mid-sprint, but he was ready for it. He caught her roughly and threw her down onto the table behind him. She kicked upward at him and swung her fist but he caught a limb in each hand and bent over her restraining her again. He leaned on her, pressing her thigh into her stomach. His left hand held her wrist and the right, her leg. His eyes flashed to her free hand and he clenched his jaw, readying for another punch.

Hawke's hand reached past his head and clenched in his hair. She pulled him down to her and locked her mouth to his, holding him there. His weight on her abdomen made her mind run wild for a moment. This felt like a much more preferable way to relieve her frustration.

Fenris inhaled deep and his fingers dug into her skin in surprise. How had he gotten punched for doing the same thing?

She pushed his mouth open with her tongue and he leaned into her, moving his mouth with hers. He disregarded the sting in his lips but Hawke could taste his bloodied mouth and it made her heart race. Her brain still felt like it was in a fight. She rolled her hip to the side, lifting her leg up between his legs as much a possible. Her thigh pushed firmly into a growing erection.

Fenris reeled back from her touch, backing away from the table. Power surged through him, lyrium humming beneath his skin. Hawke sat up, panting, one leg hanging from the table, watching the glowing elf. He watched her back, breathing heavily, stuck between stepping to her and leaving. Both felt like mistakes.

Hawke's eyes flickered over his body, and he could see his blue reflecting from her eyes. She put the tips of her fingers to her swelling mouth and slid her tongue along the top of her lip, watching him from under her lashes.

Fenris's hands moved to untie the waist of his pants, decision made. He walked back to the woman waiting for him on the table, the light under his skin fading. Hawke wrapped her arms over his shoulders and let him pull her pants from her. She pulled him in to kiss again as her body shivered, excited for what they'd started. Her mind felt blank, the argument before, vanished to some other realm of her consciousness, but it's adrenaline and heat still making her blood rush.

Fenris hooked his arms under her knees , lifting her hips forward as she licked his sore lips and dug her nails into his arm. She felt him align himself with her and step forward.

He pushed into her without warning. They both swore aloud; the first thrust almost overwhelming on its own. He pinned her back down onto the table, pulling out and thrusting fully back into her. She groaned as he forced her to open up for him, holding her legs to his sides. Hawke dug her nails into the wooded table, sitting up as much as she could on her elbows while he held her thighs. He looked down at her, breathing heavily as he thrust into her tight center again and again making her swear and moan. She watched him defiantly, trying to control her reactions but her head fell back and her breathing escaped in broken gasps. He moved in a cluster of hard rushed movements, moving his hands to hold her hips in place.

Hawke pushed her hips forward against his hold, matching his movements and he staggered in response. It felt as if she were squeezing him with her movements and the sensation was almost enough to drive him mad…the knowledge that it was being created by a woman who's appearance had enamored him for years, but who's presence he'd barley tolerated…

She infuriated him with irresponsible beliefs and rebellious eyes that matched his own. A free mage with swaying hips. Now he was between those hips.

That was enough to drive him mad.

Fenris pulled Hawke up rough by her waist and quickly slid his hands under her legs. He lifted her up from the table, holding her, and moved inside her as he climbed to climax. Hawke's breathing was sporadic as she was bounced against him. She wrapped her arms around his neck to hang on, her body spasming as her own weight helped him push into her deepest parts.

She came immediately, as he hit one spot that'd been waiting to be found. She gasped feeling her body be overcome with an abrupt release of pleasure, her nails digging deep into his shoulder blades. Fenris ground his teeth, feeling her muscles clench around him and a warm wetness spill onto his thighs. She came hard in his arms, his name a breathless whisper on her lips. She surrendered in his arms, her eyes rolling up as he continued pushing her past her own orgasm. Her vision swam with stars when Fenris leaned forward onto the table, burying his face in her breasts, pumping into her hard as the muscles in his abdomen jumped. He breathed heavily into her shirt as his own climax engulfed him and he felt himself pouring into her.

His head spun with the release. He looked at the dazed woman, finding it incredible that if they'd meet under any other circumstances they probably would have been enemies.

The two lay still on the table catching their breath, amongst the mess they'd created of the upper foyer. Fenris took the initiative to stand after a moment, deciding to take his weight off of her. He looked down at her and rolled his shoulders, trying to relax his muscles. Hawke was a mess with deep red hand prints spotting her dark tanned thighs. It surprised him and he felt a mixture of pride and guilt. She let out a soft noise as she sat up seemingly in a daze with shaking legs and messed hair. She looked up at him with reluctant amusement. A dark smirk played at her features and something about her air said "victory."

His eyes narrowed and his body moved forward to kiss the arrogance off of her. Apparently he hadn't been as rough as he'd thought. Before he could reach her, the lower door opened and a fluster of voices and laughter spilled into the estate. There was new voice among the inhabitants of her home.

"Hawkey?! I'm home!" Isabella sang into the air.

Terror was the only word Fenris could use to explain the look that shot across her face. He looked around the area. His pants were drenched and hers were across the room. Isabella was coming up the steps and there was no time to become decent. Hawke grabbed the elfs hand and flew to her room, slamming and locking her door.

Fenris raised a brow at the pantless mage who leaned against her door, pinching the bridge of her nose. Her house robe was just long enough to reach below her hips.

"Woah. What happened up here?" Isabella's voice could be heard through the door. Hawke and Fenris watched each other, listening quietly. "What is this puddle?" Orana asked and Bohdan talked in confusion too far to hear.

There was quiet and then a soft tap on the door. The pirate whispered against it. Hawke could hear the smile in her voice. "Fenris, be a dear and let Hawke know I have her pants."


	15. Short and curly

Inspired by DA2 party banter

Varric: "So that glowing thing you do with your hands must make it easy to pickpocket."

Fenris: " I'll try it out and let you know"

 _Short and Curly_

"Ah Varric. Do you remember that Nobel from the hanged man?" Fenris smiled to himself as he walked the thin slope along the wounded coast.

"There was a Nobel at the Hanged man?" Hawke questioned in disbelief.

Varric shook his head at the memory. "Heh. There sure was, believe it or not. An Orlesian at that. What of it?"

"I ran into him in Hightown yesterday. Seems his ship out of the city had a delay." He answered in a suggestive voice.

Varric smirked. "Well now, that's unfortunate. What kind of delay."

"It didn't exist turns out." Anders' answered, also with a knowing smile from the back of the pack. "Turns out someone forged papers for an S.S.Bianca."

Varric's brows rose in feign surprise. "Wow. That's one hell of a mix up! I hope the poor sap was compensated."

Hawke glanced back over her shoulder. "You know about this fellow, Anders? Who is he?" She assumed Varric had something to do with the imaginary boat.

"Let's just says he was a very memorable nobleman." The mage answered.

"That's one way of putting it." Fenris scoffed.

Hawke raised a brow at the two being able to speak on a subject without spitting at each other's feet.

"Is he stuck in Kirkwall now?" Varric asked.

"Seems that way. Apparently someone robbed him at the docks while he was looking for his fake boat." Fenris answered.

Varric seemed genuinely surprised at that, but laughed all the same. "Really? What a stroke of bad luck. Who got to him? I know the cartel claim that area." He speculated.

"It wasn't them, I can guarantee that. His purse was full and suddenly it was empty. There wasn't even a knife hole." Fenris held back a smirk, mischief in his tone.

Varric looked confused for a moment, before choking in laughter. "Reckless! Do you know what kind of trouble you'd be in if you were caught stealing from nobles? You'd find Aveline's sword through your door in the morning." Varric sounded amused in his concern. "I can't believe you phased through his coin purse...I can't believe it actually worked. Was that your first time trying it?"

"I figured there wasn't a more deserving practice target." The elf smirked darkly.

Anders smiled in agreement. "Hmph. And then he had the nerve to report it as magic. He said he even saw the mage who robbed him run off!" He complained. "I kindly set the tail of his ridiculous shirt on fire while no one was looking. I might have also turned his hairs pink in a certain area."

Varric clasped his hands over his mouth. "You didn't!" Hawke stopped and turned to the three men behind her.

"Oh, but I did." Anders proclaimed proudly. No one kicks my cats, or talks about my friends."

"Duly noted." Varric nodded and turned to the only female amongst them as everyone stopped. "What's up Hawke? Why'd we stop?"

"Can I know why you all have sabotaged this poor nobleman?" She chuckled, knowing it probably wouldn't have taken much to rouse her friends into harassing the upper class. The question however seemed to bring them pause.

She glanced at each of them but knew who would relent. "Anders?"

The mage made a face, and behind Hawke, Varric shrugged.

"Your reputation proceeds you Hawke, which I'm sure you're aware of... Naturally, I blame Varric." Anders explained, giving in to the pretty grey eyes that questioned him. Varric took the blame with pride. "He obnoxiously disturbed our weekly game of wicked grace, deluded off of some drug. Apparently each of us happened to get a little payback yesterday." He chuckled. "Also, he kicked the little black cat that comes around for my scraps. I told him that he'd have bad luck, but he didn't believe me."

"He insulted the Amells." Fenris added, disliking the avoidance. "And you." Hawke's eyes widened.

Varric interjected. "Apparently having magic in your bloodline is just as scandalous in Orlais as it is here. He barged into the hanged man in full Orlesian dramatics, ranting about his pure genes. He talked about the rumored 'Magister of Kirkwall'". Varric rolled his eyes, mocking the man's accent. "A lot of the patrons stood up yelling right back, defending their champion. You should have seen it Hawke. You'd be proud of your city...and your elf. I thought he would kill him right there. You know how unreasonable he is."

"Don't exaggerate." Fenris frowned.

"You are rather unreasonable." Anders concurred.

"Magister of Kirkwall?!" She questioned, astounded.

"A mage of Nobel standing with political influence. It's not that much of a stretch." Varric elaborated.

"But he couldn't just stop there. He said your mother cursed her family by abandoning them for magic. He even claimed she was weak willed and your father enchanted her." Anders looked disgusted. "...it was only fitting that magic brought her to her end." He quoted.

Hawke stood still, her amusement drained from her face. She was silent a moment before smiling suddenly. "Robbed, stranded, and set aflame...seems justice was served. I'm lucky to keep such fine company."

"Don't forget pink whiskers." Anders added. "That was my favorite part."

"You did that for your cat." Varric accused as the group resumed walking.

"T'was justice nonetheless." Anders smiled.

" I'm sure your demon has better things to do than groom and paint the curliest parts of nobelmen."

"OH! And the elf tells a joke! Second one this year!" Varric enthused and Anders sarcastically pretended to laugh.

Hawke chuckled at the banter behind her, shaking her head. Fine company indeed.


	16. Favors

_Favors_

"In classic cliche fashion, I'd like to state that this is certainly not what it looks like." Varric sat on his bed dressed only in a pair of sleeping trousers. The amount of hair covering the dwarf was record breaking, but that isn't what caught Fenris's attention. On the other side of the red silken bed, Hawke slept in his sleeping robes, his broad back turned toward the entrance. Fenris looked to Varric in question but the dwarf simply put a finger to his lip and shook his head. He tossed the blankets over the mans head and climbed from the bed, motioning for the elf to follow him from the room.

"What's going on?"

"Hawke has …developed a habit." He began. "He's wasted. He does this often and I don't know if you've noticed but I don't exactly have the build of someone who could carry a human home."

"A habit of drinking too much?" He frowned heavily, imagining the Champion lumped together with the rest of the alcoholics in lowtown.

"No. A habit of sleeping here. Or anywhere where there's people. Drunk or not, he won't go home."

"And you let him stay here every night?"

"Most nights." Varric sighed. "But when I can't, I think he makes his way to the Rose."

Fenris had no right to judge Hawke's endeavors. He restrained his reaction but Varric caught the recoil. "Why didn't you tell me he was doing this?"

"He asked me not to, so I didn't." The dwarf shrugged. He closed the door to his room and leaned his back against it. "People mourn in different ways… Hawke has lost so much; I think something in him is finally breaking. If he needs me to be there for him like this, I can. I owe him and this isn't asking too much…buuut I might need you to take the comfort shift some nights."

Fenris looked immediately at a loss. He was in no position to be spending nights with a man he abandoned after a night of passions. If he needed affection and reassurance, Fenris was hard pressed to give it to him despite his convictions. Taking the man in would be more than his resolve could handle. "he's overstaying his welcome?" Fenris asked.

"Don't get me wrong. I don't mind him staying here, I really don't, even though he takes up most of the bed and I sleep in a chair. I'm just afraid one day he'll stumble in here and I won't be alone." Varric explained. "I don't know exaaaactly know what happened between you two but I'd rather he spend his vulnerable nights with people he knows."

Fenris agreed with the sentiment but didn't see why he had to be next in line. "What about the others? Aveline is his best friend, next to you."

"She's also married Fenris. The title of "friend" can only make so much appropriate."

"Isabella? Merrill? They have no one but themselves to worry about." He felt an ache at his own logic.

Varric raised a brow and smirked. "Not offering Anders?"

Fenris averted his gaze. He hadn't even realized he'd done it. He saw how the mage looked at Hawke when they talked. They had always enjoyed each other's company and Hawke had never done anything to make him think he wasn't exactly interested in the apostate.

"Well…I'm sure he wouldn't be safer sleeping in the clinic." He covered.

"Uh-huh." Varric humored. "Well be that as it may, Merrill can barely take care of herself and whatever you're worried blondie will do, Isabella is guaranteed to do…times two."

Fenris pulled a face but chose not to bring the subject of his jealousy further into the light. Regardless of outside circumstances, he wasn't comfortable spending so much time alone with Hawke. He definitely wasn't ready to offer constant care and affection to the lonely rouge. He could only imagine where those drunk nights would lead. An unwanted shiver ran down his spine. It would've been nice. But things weren't that simple. "So that leaves me…I'm not exactly a willing party myself."

"I can care for myself just fine, Thankyou." The door to Varric's room opened and Hawke stood in the doorway, his shirt fully unbuttoned, exposing scars and tattoos. He looked to Fenris, something like disgust in his expression. Or disappointment, but his eyes were longing. "You weren't exactly a willing party at first last time either." He held the elfs chin tightly. Fenris snatched it away. The smell of ale assaulting his nose.

"You're drunk." He spat.

"And you're as disagreeable as ever." Hawke shrugged. He leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms. "Bodahn told me you've been looking for me. What do you want."

Fenris scowled. "I needed your help."

"Past tense?" Hawke questioned.

"You're not really looking like you can help anyone at the moment my friend." Varric rubbed the back of his head feeling exasperatingly out of place.

Hawke hummed, keeping his low eyes on his ex-lover. He stepped toward him, eliminating the space between them. Fenris pushed aside the urge to back away, staring defiantly up at the larger man. Varric sighed, resisting the urge to just return to his room and shut them out. He knew that leaving them alone would most likely result in the two of them fighting or fucking outside of his door.

"Nice to see you feel comfortable enough to still come to me with your problems." Hawke spoke in a low tone looking down at the elf. He ran the tips of his fingers down his neck and Fenris refused to react. "Isn't it a bit unfair that you aren't offering me the same anymore?" The question was meant to be suggestive but hurt leaked through. Fenris turned his head away from the Champion.

Hawke sighed. "Thanks for the help Varric. I'll try not to impose so much. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm in the mood for a bar fight." The pajama wearing rouge staggered away, disappearing down the steps.

"Well that was awkward. You two are like poster-childs for sexual tension… Follow him maybe?" Varric offered.

"No." Fenris answered stubbornly, turning to leave.

"Oh come now, there's obviously some 'unsettled business' between you two. You can get whatever favor you needed, Hawke can get the company he really wants and I can finally get a decent night's rest. It's a win-win situation."

"Write to Anders." Fenris answered walking down the steps. Varric frowned in disapproval and sighed. "Tell him Hawke needs a place to stay."

 _Author note: In the game, I thought it was a little ballsy of Fenris to ask Hawke to help him meet his sister after he dumped me lol. "It would mean a lot to me." He says. Smh. The guilt trip._


	17. Bad enough

_Bad Enough_

Hawke lay in his bed on his side, his bare skin warmed by the fire across from him. His muscles ached pleasantly as he looked to the current object of his affections. He was well rested and relaxed from a night filled with sex and released tension…but a cold weight rested in his stomach as he watched said current object of affection stand fully clothed facing away from him. Something was wrong. "Was it really that bad?"

Fenris didn't respond but Hawke watched his shoulders tense. The elf bought his hand to his face and spoke as if his mind were somewhere else. "No, it was fine."

"'Fine'" Hawke quoted, teasing in mock offense. Fenris could've outright said it was bad and Hawke still wouldn't have doubted his own performance.

"Ah, no. That's inadequate." He turned around and looked at Hawke with a apologetic expression. Too apologetic. "It was better than that. Better than anything I've experienced."

Hawke waited for him to speak but the elf just looked strained and cast his eyes to the floor.

"But?" He asked, raising a brow.

"But I…I can't. We can't…." He sighed and looked to the man in the bed. "We can't do this again. This has to end."

Hawke felt his chest ache. He hadn't even realized his feelings for the white haired elf had reached this depth. You don't realize what you have until it's standing fully dressed looking like a goodbye. "Woah woah. At least tell me what happened before you decide anything drastic."

Fenris's eyes snapped back to Hawke and he looked absolutely tormented. "It all came back!" He moved his hands as he talked and started pacing the space in front of the fire. Hawke sat up slowly, following him with his eyes. "All of my memories. My life before the pain of these markings. I could remember everything! I've wanted that for so long- to remember. It was amazing and intense. It felt so warm and familiar, like a home. I've never felt anything like that before…I mean, but I have! I know that now, but I can't remember it anymore … it's gone again." He stopped pacing clenching his fists in front of him before sighing and lowering his hands.

"Wait, so…I helped temporarily restore your memory?"

"Yes." Fenris answered, looking to Hawke and then back to the floor. "Every time I felt you…every time I got overwhelmed… it's like things became clearer and clearer."

"I don't have any qualms with overwhelming you again if that's the case. We can start trying to remember right now if you'd like." Hawke smirked, but Fenris was not amused.

"Must you make light of everything? I'm serious Hawke."

Hawke had been serious too. But he supposed emphasizing that wouldn't really help his case. "I'm sorry. Sorry. I'm listening."

Fenris put his hands to his temples and sighed. "No I'm sorry, about all of this. If I'd known it would be this way- If I'd known it would hurt like this…"

"It hurt?" Hawke's eyes widened. The concern he felt finally manifested on his face.

"Yes. Too much. In more ways than one." Fenris closed his eyes tight shaking his head at the memory of forgetting. "I can't go through that again." He turned, grabbing his sword and sliding it onto his back.

"Fenris wait." Hawke reached for his lover, repressing the small panic in his chest. "This isn't the only option. Let me help you. Just sit for a moment."

The elf didn't face him, instead choosing to shake his head as his fists clenched on their own. His legs felt antsy like he'd wanted to run ever since he'd climbed from the bed, but his chest felt heavy, as if his heart were anchored in the room. He whispered an apology and let his fear walk him from the warm room.

Hawke sat alone watching the walkway where his newly acquired-then-lost lover had just stood. What exactly had just happened? Everything had changed so fast. He had just been so satisfied a moment ago. He waited a moment, for Fenris to come back through the door, stubbornly refusing to apologize for being rash. He didn't.

Hawke looked to the blaze in the large fireplace. It was the same flame that had crackled while he'd made love a few moments ago. Same flame, same room, and yet somehow, the atmosphere had been turned upside down. He leaned forward onto his knees and pushed a hand into his hair feeling stagnant. An unfamiliar pain grew in his chest. "…Was it really that bad?"


	18. Blah

_Never33: Thankyou for the reviews :) they make my day. Truly._

 _Blah._

"So…what exactly is the problem here?" Anders poorly hid his amusement. The only one finding the groups circumstances more enjoyable was Varric. Fenris grabbed the mage by the collar, glaring silent daggers.

"This is YOUR fault Anders…and I'm half convinced it wasn't an accident." Hawke sighed.

Hawke, Anders, Varric and Fenris sat in hawke's bedroom. A large map sat opened in the middle of the bed, currently being ignored. Hawke had gathered the trio to her home to go over the maps for the deep roads expedition. Anders had bought his work with him, along with supplies for the journey.

"It's made from a plant called mimblewimble." Anders explained, trying to quell the situation before anyone panicked. "In most cases it swells the tongue ,making it useless.

"A fitting name." Varric laughed. Hawke couldn't help but chuckle as well.

"I was working on a blend for a buyer of mine. If it were a more potent blend, you'd go into shock and choke on your own tongue."

"Oh shit." Varric stammered.

"You poisoned him!?" Hawke exclaimed. Fenris who had been standing silently seething behind clenched teeth, reached for the Qunari mallet strapped to his back. Today was apparently the day he finally crushed the blonde mage's extremist skull.

"No no. It's more along the lines of potential poison." Anders waved both his hands, but didn't back away. In honestly if the elf wanted to come to blows, he'd oblige. "I think this all worked out fine actually. Now we don't have to listen to his constant anti-mage dribble."

"We still have to hear your pro-mage dribble however." Varric laughed.

At the beginning of the meeting Anders had distributed supplies and rations among the four of them. Fenris's pack had been covered in a peach scented residue that had gotten all over his hands. He'd sniffed at it and gotten light headed before trying to ask what it was.

"Wa ebb eh?…wa ma…..hnngh!!" At that moment Anders had noticed one of his flasks had broken. Things had gone down hill from there.

"So how do you fix it? Varric pitched. "Broody would make a terrible Silent Sister." He snickered at himself.

"You don't fix it. It wears off after a few days."

"Taesh?!" Fenris, who had been avoiding trying to talk was suddenly very verbal. It sounded foolish, but his tone was unmistakingly threatening. That didn't stop Varric from laughing. The great mallet was suddenly swung in the air and Anders crouched with a smirk, ready to hit the elf with a lightening bolt that'd been a long time coming. Both men were ready to take the situation beyond words (especially Fenris, for he had none.) but were frozen in their tracks. Tiny hexes circled their ankles and Hawke walked between them. "Not. In. My. House." Her irritation radiated. She turned to Anders, who'd been glaring past her. "I suggest you think of a way to fix him, or else I'm leaving you both stuck here until he can speak again."

That seemed to catch the crouching mages attention. He looked to the pretty woman who frowned disapprovingly at him. He knew her enough to know she'd leave them there for days and proceed through her daily routine around them as if they were furniture.

He rolled his eyes childishly. "Water. He just needs a glass of water. It'll take a few minutes at most for the swelling to go down."

Varric put a hand to his face and shook his head. "I'm fully convinced this was on purpose."

Anders denied nothing

 _Note: asked my friend to say a random word for a scene prompt. She responded "blah." So here we are. Also, mimblewimble is definitely a Harry Potter spell that makes your tongue fold back._


	19. Belong

_A cutscene: "Give us the slave and we'll let you walk free!"_

 _"He belongs to me now!"_

 _-15 Fenris_

 _Belong_

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't crush your throat right here."

"Now is that really anyway to repay a debt?"

"To the Deep Roads with your debt, mage."

Hawke stood with an amused smirk, pinned by his neck against his front door. His aggressor stood in a disgusted fury, green eyes burning into his skull.

"Now, now. I killed a lot of people for you before I even knew why I was killing." The champion laughed. "I continue to kill for you even now. I think you still owe me a bit more of your time."

"Vashada with your debt! I never said I'd be your slave!"

"My what? Now, Fenris whatever could you be talking about?" Hawke poorly mocked ignorance, only to have his chuckles choked by a tightened grip. He held his hands up in a calming gesture. "I-I never said you were my slave exactly." He pushed out.

A gauntlet was punched into the wall next to his head. Hawke flinched at the strike. Wrong words apparently. Fenris was obviously not taking the situation as lightly as his companion seemed to be.

A noble woman passing by the scene unfolding in the middle of the evening gasped in theatrical terror. Recognizing the champion, but not his lover, she turned to the man at her side and pushed him to do something. His clothes, although nice, were of a lower quality. He was likely her escort, more-or-less obliged to heed her concerns…to his dismay.

"Er…is everything alright Missere?" He called out from their safe distance.

"Perfectly fine! I assure you! Don't worry your pretty little head—ackh!" The champions assurances were cut short by further violence.

"Your tongue gets you out of a lot of binds Hawke but it won't get you out of this." Fenris snarled. Something behind his anger looked like disappointment.

"Now, that's where you're wrong." Hawke whispered, having enough of having his breathing restricted. He wrapped his hands around the elf's wrists, and with a spark of yellow, pushed an electric current into the hands that held him. The shock traveled through them both, but Fenris pulled his hands back with a hiss. Hawke anticipated the recoil and spun the elf hard into the wall, pinning his hands above his head. He took one hand and rubbed his neck that had gone sore from being crushed to being shocked. Electricity travels. Stupid mistake. "Didn't think that one through." He grumbled to himself. "See? Everything's under control! Just a little spat." He called out, opening his door and maneuvering them both inside.

Fenris stood disorientated for a moment. His eyes shut tight as his head rung.

"Now, if you'd let me speak without a palm to my windpipe, maybe we can come to an understanding." Hawke cleared his throat.

"You told them you owned me." Fenris spoke through clenched teeth as he opened his eyes.

"Uh no. Wrong again." Hawke's face turned serious and he stepped close to the elf. It was his turn to be restrained. "What I said was You. Are. Mine."

Fenris frowned and swallowed hard, anger and disgust twisting at his words…but something in Hawke's seriousness made his heart skip. "I belong to no one."

"And I disagree." Hawke leaned into the defiant elf, placing a free hand on his hip. Fenris frowned at his touch.

"Denarius is going to be the last person to lay claim to my life and I have every intention of keeping it that way." Fenris growled, the fog in his head finally clearing. Hawke's eyes traveled his face and neck as he spoke, looking only half interested. He hummed in response and leaned in to press lips against a very alluring collar bone.

There was an angered shout and a flash of blue from behind the closed door of the champion's eatate. Outside, an escort held his very reluctant hand, poised to knock. He turned back to cast a questioning, almost pleading glance to the frilled woman a few yards away. She shrugged and urged him forward with a "shoo" of her delicate gloved fingers. Soft swears and a sigh were all the defiance he allowed himself. The gold he'd demand at the end of the night would be worth a few bumps and bruises.

He knocked…but seriously doubt he was heard over the sudden thrashing and arguing from inside.

Hawke ran up his stairs chuckling to himself as he shook his head. Maybe it was time to set things straight. Fenris had drawn his sword and was not going to leave an opening to be "distracted". He was serious and Hawke probably should've expected it. There were three things he was overly sensitive toward. Magic, elves and slavery.

Their current argument had a hand on all three, in a way.

The champion sighed and closed the door to his room, locking the glowing elf out, and himself inside. "Alright! Let me talk for a moment, seriously this time! If you don't like what I have to say you can impale me, crush my lungs or whatever it is you plan to do!" He called from his room.

His door glowed a bright blue as Fenris phased through it, broad sword in hand.

"Ah. Forgot about that." The mage laughed, backing slowly.

"Talk."

Hawke cleared his throat, rubbing at the back of his head. It was only half over the discomfort of what he needed to say, and half at the growing knot beneath his hairline.

"I'll try not to be verbose…even though the urge to beat around the bush is rather appealing."

A silence floated between them and the angered elf surged the lyrium in his hands.

"I won't let anyone take you away from me." Hawke answered just as his lover unclenched his jaw to speak. "Not Denarius, not his men, not Isabella, no one."

Fenris stood, frown in place, at a loss. Isabella? "What are you-"

"Let me finish." The champion locked his bronze gaze with the green one across from him. He walked foward, seriousness on his face. "I already kill for you. I will continue to do so until no one else is claiming you belong to them. You are mine and mine alone. I will never stop saying those words. If you would rather leave…..I won't stop you, but until that day Fenris you are mine and I am yours."

A disapproving and confused grimace sat heavily on Fenris's face until Hawke finished his stubborn declaration. They stood a foot apart and the elf felt his grip loosen on his sword.

"You are mine? What-"

"If you'll have me, yes."

Hawke's meaning seemed to click into place at that instant. Fenris dropped his eyes downward in thought and the man across from him watched patiently. He had never owned a thing in his life. Much less a person. What kind of person just…offered themself? What had he done to make someone willing to be owned…..

Why did he suddenly feel like he minded it less himself?

Fenris breathed a tired laugh and ran a hand down his nose. "You want to be my slave." He spoke as a statement, a smirk pulling on his lips as he lifted his sword over his back.

Hawke jolted, caught off guard. "Wha-hah. Well shit, if that's what I have to do to get what I want…I think I'll just have to suck it up then, won't I?." He tapped his fingers to his chin. "Hmm. I'm sure I can find plenty of up sides to this arrangement."

Fenris raised a brow, crossing his arms. "Being a slave isn't easy. Being MY slave might get you killed."

Hawke rolled his eyes. "Walking down the street with you might get me killed."

Fenris laughed and Hawke smirked at the lighter air, the scars on his chin stretching upward. "Is it safe to approach you now?…Master?"

The elf-slaver smiled at his mage and something in his eye sent a hint toward his property.

"Probably."


End file.
